Snark Hunting

“Just the place for a Snark!” the Kerry cried,
As he landed his crew with care;
Supporting each man on the top of the tide
By a finger entwined in his hair.

“Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice:
What i tell you three times is true.”

The crew was complete: it included a Boots (Edwards)–
A maker of Bonnets and Hoods (Dem Underground)–
A Barrister (in Florida), brought to arrange their disputes–
And a Broker (Rather), to value their goods


A Billiard-maker (McAuliffe), whose skill was immense,
Might perhaps have won more than his share–
But a Banker (Soros), engaged at enormous expense,
Had the whole of their cash in his care.

There was also a Beaver (MSM), that paced on the deck,
Or would sit making lace in the bow:
And had often (the Kerry said) saved them from wreck,
Though none of the sailors knew how.

There was one who was famed for the number of things
He forgot when he entered the ship:
His medal, his ribbons, all his jewels and rings,
And the clothes his wife had bought for the trip.

He would answer to “Botox!” or to any loud cry,
Such as “Anybody but Bush!” or “Parachute man!”
To “Where-You-In-Vietnam!” or “You’re-Not-Hillary!”
But especially “Vous Parlez Français?”

While, for those who preferred a more forcible word,
He had different names from these:
His intimate friends called him “Lt(jg)-Flip-Flopper,”
And his enemies “Toasted-cheese.”

“I engage with the Snark–every night after dark–
In a dreamy delirious fight:
I serve it with greens in those shadowy scenes,
And I use it for striking a light:

“But if ever I meet with a Boojum, that day,
In a moment (of this I am sure),
I shall softly and suddenly vanish away–
And the notion I cannot endure!”

In the midst of the word he was trying to say,
In the midst of his laughter and glee,
He had softly and suddenly vanished away—
For the Snark *was* a Boojum, you see.

I hope Lewis Carroll will forgive me for desecrating his immortal Hunting of the Snark. But, you see, the Snark (Kerry being President of the US (not France)) is really a Boojum (Reality.)

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