AGW Today: Cattle Burps, Eating Habits, And Missing Children

Burps? BURPS? What about far…..

That cattle herd sitting in the middle of the road, contently chewing away as you honk, is not just traffic nuisance. Research has revealed that cattle belching is speeding up global warming as well!

Methane, which ruminating animals like cattle and sheep emit during their digestive cycle when they belch, and nitrous oxide (N2O) that is emitted from its manure, has 21 times and 310 times respectively greater potential of causing global warming than the carbon dioxide being emitted from your vehicle’s exhaust pipe.

What about the output from the other end? Anyhow, it is just another way of pushing centralized control, and mimicking one of the worst movies ever made

CLIMATE change is likely to deprive us of the pleasures of eating beef and lamb, instead forcing us to contemplate platefuls of kangaroo meat and threatening another Australian table staple — seafood.

Because those food sources do not fart as much as cows, pigs, goats, and the other normal farm animals that are providing meat for the world. Until that is modified, so that no one should eat an animal. By law. Then it will be sea creatures. Soon, cannibalism will be the best option.

On the heels of a suggestion that people cut meat once a week from their diets to curb global warming comes a British university study — supposedly the most in-depth of its kind — urging meat and dairy rationing.

That would be four small portions of meat and one liter (1.06 quarts) of milk a week to avoid cataclysmic climate change, according to a four-year study by the Food Climate Research Network at the University of Surrey near London.

The objective is to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. It’s further recommended that alcohol, chocolate and other “low-nutritional” items be reduced. We suppose a food-misery index is out of the question.

Now they the food staples covered. It’s also a great way to wack St. Valentine’s Day. Oh, and normal weddings. Sunday football. Going to a baseball game. Backyard barbecue’s. Things these Climahysterics hate.

Scientists at the Mulberry Institute of Practical Sciences believe they have uncovered a new and even more destructive contributer to the world global warming crisis. According to their findings the surge of dead and missing children across the World over the past decade is greatly to blame for the climate changes now affecting the entire globe.

Dean of Science Harold Beauwanker explains, “The World has an epidemic on it’s hands. The number of kidnapped, missing and murdered children has risen to unthinkable proportions. How does that equate to global warming? Candlelight vigils. Over the past decade our weather satellites have been picking up a strangely increasing overland phenomenon which has turned out to be candlelight vigils.”

Horror!

That last one may be a spoof, but, only because the Climahysterics haven’t thought of it yet.

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