Globull Warming Cold Raises Coffee Prices

After the story gets done telling us how it is getting warmer and allowing coffee to be grown on even more land, and how “climate change”, meaning man-induced, is making it wet and dry, windy and calm, we get

Only arabica beans are grown in Costa Rica, taking advantage of the volcanic soil at high elevations to produce some of the world’s most sought-after coffee.

Farmers learned long ago to negotiate the country’s microclimates. Now they must adapt to new changes.

On the slopes of Volcano Poás, the biggest threats are colder nights, fiercer winds and rain that falls too hard and at the wrong times. Temperatures at Flores’ coffee farms on Poás used to stay above 60 degrees at night, but now are dropping to 52 degrees. He also has planted more rows of Indian cane and other trees as windscreens.

Many young coffee plants that should be lush and preparing to burst with fruit remain withered and unproductive, he says.

Just a couple of miles away are healthy coffee trees that have escaped the wind and cold. Some are still producing robustly at the ripe old age of 30 years.

These people do really think you’re idiots. Climate is not stagnant, and never will be.

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8 Responses to “Globull Warming Cold Raises Coffee Prices”

  1. […] Sister Mary Penguin will not be amused…Globull Warming Cold Raises Coffee Prices […]

  2. proof says:

    Dang! My last remaining vice!

  3. Well, climate change is going to do something something and something else to coffee. Because we all know the climate has been completely stable for 4 billion years, according to the climate flat earthers.

  4. Trish says:

    Now this is war!

  5. captainfish says:

    Wait, are they now claiming there is no evolution?

    You have coffee plants all over the volcano. One side is getting more rain and wind causing the plants to not grow adequately. Yet, on the other side, they are growing just fine. Now, the Theory of Evolution and Adaptation would seem to dictate that those areas no longer hospitable to the growth of coffee plants would lose the coffee plants in favor of a more water-loving and sturdier type of plant. And more coffee plants would grow on the other side.

    So, are we now supposed to believe that there is no such thing as “evolution” and all of THIS was caused only by globull warming alarmist rhetoric?

  6. Give me coffee or give me de…er, morning withdrawal shakes!

    What is this “evolution” you speak of? I thought the earth never changed?

  7. captainfish says:

    Teach, Teach, Teach.
    Come on. I learned this back in the state-subsidized pre-pre-preschool.

    Under the earth, evolution is in fast motion. That is how rock turns in to lava and then evolves back in to mountains. Its an upward process.

    Then, life on earth is in a slow, very slow, uber-slow evolution. At least right now it is. Back when, it was very fast. But now, not. It’s kind of like watching a pot of boiling water. That takes a very long time. But, to put the water in it, takes no time at all.

    Then, there’s the life above the surface. Up in the air. That is stagnant. That never changes. Or, if it does, it only evolves over Trillions of years. That’s because its millions of degrees. Gore said.

    Thus, the changes we are now seeing are because of the direct effects of MAN. Not cow farts, or caterpillar burps. DUH!!

  8. Trish says:

    Hahahahahahahahah….if we couldn’t laugh we’d all go insane.

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