So, I was having a conversation with a customer while waiting to sign their papers, and they had just moved to Raleigh. We talked about hints for those who are new to the Carolinas: here are a few
- Once a town hits a certain size, everything is in a circle. Stop thinking straight lines, because you’ll end up nowhere near where you want to go
- Inner/outer loop is easy. The inner is the….inner, and the outer is the….outer. Inner goes clockwise, outer goes counter-clockwise. Simple
- Barbecue is a noun, not a verb. We eat barbecue, which is pig. We grill out.
- If you’ve never been to a pig pickin’, don’t put your nose up. You want great food, just grab a hunk off the grill
- Those mom and pop looking restaurants will give you some of the best food, for a low price, with great service. It may not look fancy, but, they won’t charge you $50 extra for ambiance. They want you to leave with your pants tight and you needing a nap
- If you see a guy (or girl) in dirty overalls, don’t make the mistake of thinking they’re a hick: they typically drive a combine that costs more than your house for a mere two weeks a year
- We like things a bit slower around here
- No matter how long you live here, you will never be a Southerner. If your kids are born here, they will, but, that doesn’t make them a, if you forgive the term, anchor baby for your Southernhood
- People will call you “hon” and “sweetie.” Women will call both men and women that. Men will say it to women. It is not meant to demean you, offend you, hit on you, hit on your girlfriend/wife, and leave your feminist BS at home. They’re just being polite and personal
- If someone says to you “well bless your heart,” it means you have done or said something monumentally stupid
- If a winter storm is on the way, you are required by law to go to the store and buy bread and milk. The Law.
- Why, yes, everything will shut down with just an inch of ice or snow. Enjoy it.
- Any time is a good time for Bo Time
- Yes, people do bring TVs to work or take the day off during the ACC Tournament (basketball)
- Please do not fake a Southern accent
- Yes, you can purchase seafood from the folks sitting around with coolers near the beach, and it be safe. And delicious!
- Don’t tell us how they did it where you came from. You’ll hear “bless your heart,” with a look that says “well, go back there.”
More: A few I forgot (hopefully WP Mobile won’t hose the post)
- Don’t be alarmed when a good ole boy stops to help you out when you’re in trouble. Southern gents live to help out
- And don’t offer money to that good ole boy. He just wants you to pay it forward
- When asking directions, if you don’t know which rock Bob sideswiped when he realized the deer he shot was alive and sticking his horns through the roof of his F150, or where the tree that was hit by lightening and had Gramma and Granpa’s initials in it, or which bridge Sue and Billy Joe made out under in 7th grade, make sure to ask for actual road names
- Don’t talk down to Billy Bob when asking for directions. He’ll get you so lost that your GPS will have a nervous breakdown, and, is that a banjo playing?
- Make fun of NASCAR at your own peril
What suggestions do you have?
