FTC Subpoenas 47 Companies For Engaging In *GASP* Capitalism

I’m tempted to work Obama in to this, but, it happened back in 2007, as well, so, let’s just blame the Party which has controlled Congress since January 2007, OK?

The Federal Trade Commission is once again handing out subpoenas to companies that market food to children and teens.

Three years after initially delivering what is technically known as “orders to file special report” to 44 marketers, the FTC last week began sending subpoenas to 48 companies in order to prepare a follow-up to its 120-page report issued in 2008, “Marketing Food to Children and Adolescents: A Review of Industry Expenditures, Activities and Self-Regulation.”

The assault on the free market system, and parenthood, continues. The article points out that they do not see any more laws and regulations coming from this, due to the winds of re-change (hmm, that might be an idea for a t-shirt slogan?) this fall, but, all this is is an attempt to put a chill on free trade. If parents do not like marketing to the kids, then they, as the supposedly responsible adult and guardians of the snowflakes can tell the snowflakes “no.”

The article does list the 48 companies, which includes, among others

  • Campbell Soup – because advertising soup aimed at kids is apparently bad
  • Dairy Management – cows create methane, which is killing us all through global warming, ya know!
  • General Mills and Kellogg Co. – cereal products would be best used in making underpowered fuel
  • Kraft Foods – damn them for their cheese!
  • Proctor & Gamble – Crest, Charmin, Pampers, Fabreeze (for when that industrial waste Pampers processor fails), and Christina Aguilera perfume. OK, I can understand the last one
  • Chiquita Brands – bananas are probably raised by exploited workers in South America
  • National Fluid Milk Processor Promotion Board – damn that milk!
  • Sunkist – Seriously? They’re upset with marketing oranges and orange products to kids?
  • The Topps Co – um, baseball cards are kinda meant to be advertised to kids, for goodness sakes (plus, they just ain’t worth what they used to be)

Red Bull and Sunny Delight I can almost understand. SunnyD is disgusting. But, still should be a parents decision.

And what of CEC Entertainment? Who dat?

The eagle-eyed regulators at the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) have a sneaking suspicion that a company offering disgusting pizza, animatronic human-sized mice, and a ball pit may be trying to appeal to children. Or rather, their marketing (the slogan was “Chuck E. Cheese: Where a Kid Can Be a Kid!” last time I checked) may inappropriately appeal to children.

Others: Don Surber, Moonbattery, Michelle Malkin and Gateway Pundit

On a tip from Annie.

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3 Responses to “FTC Subpoenas 47 Companies For Engaging In *GASP* Capitalism”

  1. captainfish says:

    *GASP*
    HOW DARE THEY!!
    What next? Getting kids to smoke crack?

  2. I’m waiting for the FTC to issue a subpoena to WALT DISNEY WORLD & DISNEYLAND for MARKETING TO CHILDREN! Yeah, that’ll happen…NOT!

  3. captainfish says:

    Yes, it will.
    http://gatewaypundit.firstthings.com/2010/09/its-come-to-this-feds-subpoena-chuck-e-cheese/
    If they feel comfortable suing Burger King, Wendy’s, Hostess cupcakes,… then they will sue anyone.

    Please stop this liberal progressive anti-American lunacy!!!!

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