Reviews! Fast 5 And Pirates 4

I’m going to start with Fast 5, which I went to see about a week and a half ago, forgot to publish. I’ll make it easy: one hell of a fun movie. Action, drama, more action, cars going really fast, great character development, all that you’ve come to expect with the Fast movies with Vin Diesel in them. It picks up where Fast and Furious, the 4th episode, left off. It’s a great ride with fantastic scenery, and, a great ending. Rather than give you a play by play or plot summery, which you can obviously read all over, let me say I’ll give it an A minus. Well worth going to see during prime-time. Sure, it’s not super deep, but, that’s not what you want. You want fun. You got it. Go see it.

And, it has a great ending, which raps the whole thing up.

Then, there’s Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. I was pretty psyched up to see this movie. Love the serious, especially The Curse Of The Black Pearl. I’ll even ignore some of the stupid stuff in 2 and 3. You know, I remember seeing the movie previews and commercials for COTBP, and thinking “sheesh, if they are showing this much, there must not be much else to the movie.” Boy, was I wrong! Big time! Love that movie (not, the blog is not base on it, though, I have snaked stuff from the movie posters). Alas, when it comes to On Stranger Tides, if you’ve seen the previews, you’ve pretty much seen the movie.

Perhaps it will grow on me when it comes out on DVD: Avatar did. But, I doubt it. It just kinda plodded along. No real memorable lines. No really memorable action. No great sword fights (the only real attempt was done in a very dark room, so, kinda worthless, and was actually besides the point.) Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa looked rather silly in the British uniform. Kevin McNally, the only other character (other than Jack Sparrow, of course) to return (as Mr. Gibbs), was not used well. No great sea lore speeches. The Blackbeard character was rather tame. Penelope Cruz’ character, Angelica, was rather tepid. The supporting characters were likewise dull. No Pintel and Rigetti, nor the two British navy men that engaged Sparrow in conversation early in Black Pearl. Excuse, looking at the cast, it seems that Lt. Gillette was in 4 as well. No good lines, either. Nothing like “that must be the best pirate I’ve ever seen.”

Some of the scenery was fantastic. At other times, it was too dark. Then there was the whole part about the Fountain Of Youth, which is supposed to be in Florida, as shown by the map in Pirates 3. Personally, I didn’t realize that Florida had so many damned mountains and stuff a couple hundred years ago. How ’bout you?

Is it worth seeing? Maybe if you go during the super deals hours. Otherwise, sorry to say, wait for DVD. Give it a C minus.

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3 Responses to “Reviews! Fast 5 And Pirates 4”

  1. captainfish says:

    You’re obviously not a warmist then. If you like a movie about cars burning thru gasoline like man burning thru the ozone hole, and hate a movie starring people who love playing down to earth characters and don’t use coal, wood, or nuclear to power their boats… then you must be a warmist.

  2. proof says:

    I think that maybe if you see Penelope Cruz and only see a tepid character, you may be a warmist!

    (Wonder if this is how Jeff Foxworthy got his start?)

  3. Wait, hold on, they used lots of whale oil back then for lighting, which puts out lots of CO2, so, pirates actually started AGW, which brought on the end of the little ice age

    Heh heh, good one, Proof. Unfortunately, we didn’t actually see enough of Ms Cruz, if you get my meaning

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