Pirate's Cove

There is real sexism in the world. It’s also a two way street, but, let’s be honest, most sexism is from men towards women. One thing to consider is what is really sexist and what isn’t. Is Augusta National, which pretty much excludes women, sexist? If so, then wouldn’t a women only health club or college be sexist?

(AP) When Laura Bates was followed home one night by a man from her bus, she didn’t think much of it. Incidents like that just seemed to be part of living in London.

But the writer said several other similar situations followed within days: One stranger shouted obscenities at her out of a car window. Another propositioned her forcefully in a cafe. A third groped her on the bus, and commuters looked away when she spoke up. She was startled not so much by the incidents — but how accustomed she had become to brushing such behavior aside and not taking action.

“I started talking to other women, and I couldn’t believe how many stories they had. I think many of us just think ‘maybe I’m unlucky,'” said Bates, 27, in an interview. “Just like me, so many of them said ‘until you asked me, I’ve never talked to anyone about this.'”

The problem here is that not one of those things was sexism. Why were the obscenities yelled, and what were they? Groping? Criminal, but not sexism. A man propositioning her? Not sexism.

Those conversations triggered the birth of the Everyday Sexism project, a website that Bates set up for women to share their experiences of sexism and harassment in their daily lives — in the office, on the train, in school or on the street. Two years on, what started as a simple idea has become a movement that is steadily gaining momentum, galvanizing support from politicians, police and thousands of women and men from Britain and beyond.

The project has collected 70,000 posts from some 20 countries, describing a wide range of unwelcome behavior and offenses from a colleague’s casual comment to unreported rapes. Many tell of assault, threats of violence and verbal abuse in public places. Others report seemingly innocuous behavior and comments: One woman tells how a sales assistant handed back her change to her male friend, after she had paid for the goods.

The problem is that they are labeling everything as sexism. Some things are certainly sexist, like possibly the change incident. Many are inappropriate conduct, but aren’t sexism. Again, many are criminal, but the intent, the mindset, isn’t sexism, or even sexist

“There were men in their office printing off pictures of female applicants and rating them out of ten. Other women say their colleagues went to strip clubs at lunch time with clients and they just missed out on these deals,” she said. Many such incidents go unreported largely because women are afraid of losing their jobs, she said.

Not sexist, but certainly inappropriate.

“People say sexism doesn’t exist anymore,” Bates said. “But it really is one of those things where once you see it, you can’t stop seeing it all around you.”

Sure, it exists. I know a man who was treated in a sexist manner by women. I know a woman who filed suit over pay inequality, and there was a real case (she had been there longer, had a better track record, and a better sales record). But we can’t, or shouldn’t, equate everything as sexism. We also should not regulate all thought. Some people are jerks. In some cases actions and words should mean someone is Held Responsible. We can all agree on that, right? But if I ogle a woman’s derrière, covered in a tight yoga pant with the word juicy, is that sexist, or simply an appreciation of the female form? According to this group, it makes me sexist, and I should be reported.

Is it sexist that men are often treated like doofus’ in TV shows and commercials?

PS: how can men not look and comment when radical feminist want women to wear things like this?

Read: What Happens When Almost Everything Is Considered Sexist? »