All You Fatties Are Causing Globull Warming With Your Junk Food

Twinkies, Ho Ho’s, everything by Little Debbie, my personal favorite, Tastykake chocolate cupcakes with the white and chocolate icing, yup, all causing anthropogenic global warming, and, not only that, but (h/t Tom Nelson)

The future of life on this planet may depend on what we eat. Factory farmed junk food is the #1 cause of climate change, but we can save the planet by going organic.

The greenhouse gas emissions from factory farms, deforestation, industrial crop production, food processing and packaging, and long-distance distribution make the food sector the biggest cause of climate change, responsible for at least a third of worldwide greenhouse gas emissions. Factory farmed meat, dairy and eggs alone may contribute as much as 51%!

So, stop eating, damnitall!

What can “we” do about it?

  • First, tell consumers how food choices impact climate change! (nag them into a coma, that’ll stop ’em from eating!)
  • Second, spend tax dollars on solutions not pollution! (spend other people’s money!)
  • Third, stop the industrial food system’s worst climate crimes! (live like it’s 1599)


Our goal is to collect 20,000 signatures between now and the November 2010 election to show strong support for organic solutions to the climate crisis going into the next global climate conference, November 29th to December 10th, in Cancun, Mexico, and as Congress begins work on the 2012 Farm Bill.

Perhaps it should be your goal to live the life you are telling everyone else to live. Spend your own money, live in a cave, grow your own food, live till you’re 35.

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4 Responses to “All You Fatties Are Causing Globull Warming With Your Junk Food”

  1. John Ryan says:

    Of course you may have also noticed the correlation of obese states to those states which most stridently deny global warming.

  2. Otter says:

    Sorry, Teach, but johnnie ryan is a FUCKING liar.

  3. BuckFobama says:

    i thought the widow of the rabbi who perished in mumbai caused gorebull warming honestly she should go back to israel to save the environment


  4. Trish says:

    Obese States deny global warming?
    Puhlease John, knock it off. Even if somewhere in your cache of stupid statistics, you can try to prove this is a fact, who cares? Ya think it matters and we should regulate fast food/junk food from people who choose to eat it in order to save the planet? What next John? What other freedoms you want to take from us?
    Seriously, stop being such a downer. And pass the Papa Johns.

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