Terrible, terrible news
Once famous for their numbers, Norwegian lemmings are disappearing, say scientists, who point an accusing finger at global warming.
The hamster-like rodents burst forth in massive numbers from their sub-Arctic homes every three to five years in a frantic search for food.
The mad dash sometimes causes them to race over clifftops and plummet into the sea, thus giving rise to the theory – now discounted – of mass suicide.
Since 1994, these periodic population explosions have stopped, prompting researchers to ask why.
And, you know what the answer is, right? Global warming. Man-made global warming. It’s those big SUVs, like the Escalade that pre-elect Barry (it’s OK, take a deep breath. Hold. Release. Do it again :)) drives that cause it.
The Lemmings survived all the other warm periods, which have been occurring since end of the last ice age. They’ll survive this one. But, good news! There are 62 million lemmings here in the US to take the Norwegian ones place!
