Wither the Blue

Seems as if the Blue states are quickly losing their populations, as folks move to Red States. I heard this during one of the very rare occasions I am out and about and able to listen to Rush, but, I still want to give Matt Margolis of Blogs for Bush the hat tip, since he blogged it hours ago, maties.

New York, now the third-most-populous state, will likely be overtaken by Florida in five years. New Jersey, the 10th-largest state, could be passed by North Carolina in three.

“By 2010, none of the three most populous states will be in the North,” says Robert Lang, director of the Metropolitan Institute at Virginia Tech.

Is it any wonder folks want to leave? Extremely high taxes, non responsive governments, fraud in gov’t, standards of living decreasing, and other issues affect people leaving. People cannot afford to live and retire in the North. I know many a folk who have left New Jersey, a state that, to be honest, I still love, for less expensive places.

North Carolina and New Mexico replaced California and Hawaii among the 10 fastest-growing states.

Why? It is nice here. Tech companies are relocating, the weather tends to be balmier, though the stray hurricane doesn’t help. Plenty of space, taxes won’t kill ye, and the people tend to be friendlier. Souther Living at it’s best.

I guess us rednecks in "Redneckistan" ain’t so bad now, eh? Y’all come and set a while. Just a few big ‘ol pointers:

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will along shortly. Don’t try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

4. Don’t be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

5. Do not buy food at the movie store.

6. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.

7. Get used to hearing, "You ain’t from around here, are you?"

8. People walk slower here.

9. Don’t be worried that you don’t understand anyone. They don’t understand you either.

10. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner’s vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol’", as in "big ol’ truck" or "big ol’ boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

11. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

12. Be advised: The "He needed killin’" defense is valid here.

13. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.

14. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y’all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

15. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car’s windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.

16. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.

17. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you’re supposed to do.

18. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.

19. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.

20. In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also here expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy", "Good Laud", and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".

21. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you’re better off trying to find it yourself.

22. If you hear music from your neighbors house, join in on the chorus.

23. If you are a woman with a flat tire, don’t worry – someone will be along shortly to change it for you. This is the South and we don’t let our womenfolk change flat tires.

24. Yes, we do have garbage pickup twice a week here.

25. While you didn’t realize it, the National Anthem does end with "Gentlemen Start Your Engines!"

26. However you did it in the North is of no concern to those of us in the South.

27. Flannel shirts can be considered formal wear in the wintertime.

28. Those nice white buildings on the street corners, across from the convenience stores, are called churches! Pick one and attend.

29. Learn to play softball.

30. Learn to eat watermelon. Seed spitting is optional but distance is a virtue.

31. You have 10 days to get your Alabama tape, Bear Bryant Cup and learn all of verses to "I’ll Fly Away" after establishing residency. Get your drivers license when you get time to do it.

32. Learn to visit the Space and Rocket Center at least one time each year.

33. Appreciate leaving the house 30 minutes before concert time and being seated 10 minutes before concert time

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2 Responses to “Wither the Blue”

  1. JulieB says:

    Nice comparisons and pretty even handed. Liked the one about driving in snow. Works for driving in rain in Los Angeles. Honest, it only rains for two weeks there, usually in January. Bad time to visit.
    But there’s certainly truth to what you say. However, just changing locations doesn’t necessarily change your politics, so look for some of those red states to turn a little purple in places. 😉

  2. Ogre says:

    Taxes won’t kill you…yet. For every person that moves in the state, the legislature feels the need to raise taxes to “pay” for that person. Hold onto your wallets — NC is gerrymandered to be Democrat Tax, tax, tax, and tax some more for a long time.

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