Los Angeles Opens New Bridge, Liberals Mess It Up

Say, why are the climate cultists in LA opening a new bridge to move fossil fueled vehicles?

Los Angeles Enjoys Its New Bridge a Little Too Much

Less than three weeks ago, with fireworks, crowds and the civic joy that only a new Instagram backdrop can muster, America’s second-largest city christened a stunning new $588 million landmark: a bridge that would create a “ribbon of light” between the downtown arts district and the historic bungalows of East Los Angeles.

With its 10 sets of white, lit arches, the glistening Sixth Street Viaduct — as it is formally known — replaced an 83-year-old art deco bridge over the concrete Los Angeles River that for generations had been a renowned Hollywood location for film noir car chases and dystopian hellscapes. Critics declared it an instant icon. Mayor Eric Garcetti, who narrated a tongue-in-cheek slow jam in the bridge’s honor when construction started, called it “a love letter” to the city.

It’s just a bridge, folks

There is so much love, in fact, that the city is considering installing speed bumps, a concrete median and climbing deterrents after LA police shut down the bridge last weekend for three nights in a row and closed it again Tuesday night.

In the weeks since the bridge opened, it has been besieged by Angelenos yearning to connect with it, use it and own it. First graffiti artists marked it. Then skateboarders and climbers took on the arches. Within a week, exhibitionist drivers were burning rubber, doing doughnuts, targeting the bridge for illegal street takeovers and crashing. In less than 10 days, the pristine lanes were covered with black skid marks.

“Look, unlike the Brooklyn Bridge and the Golden Gate Bridge, this is the first major bridge to be built in the social media era,” said Councilman Kevin de León, a veteran Los Angeles lawmaker and recent mayoral candidate whose district includes both the bridge and the communities that bookend it. “Folks are trying to get their virtual fame and go viral.

I guess having police available to stop this would be silly? But, yeah, de Leon is correct, idiots will try to get their virtual fame, just like idiots take pictures of their cup of coffee that’s literally just basic coffee. Until we get a Darwin Awards candidate. Then the city will take it seriously.

Still, he said, the space has quickly become known for “outrageous antics”; as a result, the department shut down the bridge three times over the weekend, and by Tuesday had impounded six vehicles and issued more than 57 citations.

On Sunday night, he said, the city began installing speed bumps and looking into a temporary median to deter spinouts and fencing to prevent people from scaling the arches.

De León said he was especially concerned about the scaling, adding, “God forbid someone slips.”

And, then the family will blame the city instead of the idiots doing Stupid Stuff.

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3 Responses to “Los Angeles Opens New Bridge, Liberals Mess It Up”

  1. Downwind of Seattle says:

    Sounds a little like the bridge that is described in one of the HHGTTG books.. Anyone know where Marvin is so he can convince it to collapse?

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