Death From Vampire Bat Blamed On Globull Warming

I originally saw this story, or, at least the headline, through Fark, Fluent News, or some other aggregator. Never read it. But, the always awesome Tom Nelson did, and noticed an interesting tidbit

The vampire bat caused its first U.S. fatality, health authorities said Thursday.

A 19-year-old migrant farm worker who had been bitten while in his native Michoacan on July 15, 2011, 10 days before he left for the U.S. to pick sugar cane at a plantation in Louisiana.

“This case represents the first reported human death from a vampire bat rabies virus variant in the United States,” the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said in its weekly Morbidity and Mortality weekly report.

Well, technically, the death was more of a Mexican death than a US one, because he was bit in Mexico. But, here we go

The CDC warned that though vampire bat populations are currently confined to Latin America, climate change could result in a northward migration of their population, possibly leading to more cases of human infection in the southern United States.

“Research suggests that the range of these bats might be expanding as a result of changes in climate. Expansion of vampire bats into the United States likely would lead to increased bat exposures to both humans and animals (including domestic livestock and wildlife species) and substantially alter rabies virus dynamics and ecology in the southern United States.”

Got that? Because someone drove an SUV, probably Jammie Wearing Fool, vampire bats might spread and kill people. In the United States. Even though the bite occurred in the Michoacan province of Mexico, which is pretty far south in Mexico. Even though the range of vampire bats extends throughout most of South America, up through all of Central America, all of Mexico, and into a sliver of Southwest America. And has for a long, long time. Eh, facts be damned, it’s mankind’s fault. Consensus says so!

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6 Responses to “Death From Vampire Bat Blamed On Globull Warming”

  1. mojo says:

    “What was dat maniac drinking?…”
    — Love at First Bite

  2. manbearpig says:

    It is actually an “Undeath”, as now the guy will be feasting on the flesh of the living. I swear, have people never seen a vampire movie?

  3. david7134 says:

    Did you see that the CDC is spending major tax dollars to track down the passengers of a plane in which a bat simply flew into the cabin then out? They want to make sure no one gets rabies despite a lack of reported contact. Now I have bats flying all over my place in the evening, so I guess I need to report to the CDC. In fact, I have bat boxes out so I must be really living on edge. I am well aware of an increased incidence of rabies in bats, but my god, do we have do go into hysterics over everything?

  4. This could be the start of the vampire apocalypse!

  5. Otis P. Driftwood says:

    Was it also Globull Warming that drove the migrant worker North?

  6. captainfish says:

    So, this is more of a rabies bite, than…… anything else?

    Rabies? Global warming causes rabies now?
    AAhhhh.. gotta mark that one down in the list.

    Research suggests that the range of these bats might be expanding as a result of changes in climate.

    Damn, and that has never ever happened before has it.

    I wonder how the camels got to where they are now. hmmmmm

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