Latest Liberal Intellectual Exercise: Waterboarding The Kids

From the Party that keeps telling us how “smart” they are

The Straight Story – So anyway, I was waterboarding one of my kids today trying to find out who spilled the juice on the floor.

Children’s services busted in and told me they were taking the kids.

I explained to them that the US govt says it is a valid method to extract information, that my kids are under my care, showed them this same fact online, and they shrugged and left.

After waterboarding each kid, each one confessed btw.

Now off to that old lady Henderson down the street who I think called children’s services. Her ass is getting some serious waterboarding let me tell you.

Brilliant! Bravo! Another great example of liberalism and the insanity it creates. Heck of a difference between waterboarding a grand total of 3 terrorists versus ones kids. Not that I have to explain it to Conservatives.

Ready for the insanity?

  • i was gonna slap my kid for cussing, but i was told i have to taser them for cussing or my kids would be taken and i would be in trouble if i dare to slap. slapping is abuse, tasering is not
  • I just sent this thread to my wife, who works for Child Services. She said, yes. Waterboarding is acceptable in Florida. Just ask Bill Nelson.
  • What size board did you use? I am going to start waterboarding in my classroom. But I hate to waste money and buy a board that is too big.
  • you are funny too. this is gonna be the thread to show how clever us du’ers really are. i can already see (told ya)
  • In my classroom, I do the waterboarding while taking our “moment for Jesus” seems to save time.
  • Great idea; I will start tomorrow during the pledge since waterboarding is such an AMERICAN thing to do.
  • Suggestion: Waterboard every kid who skips “under god” in the Pledge. The fundies will love you.
  • Save money… ..and just use the playground teeter totter. It’s right there on the playround and it can be easily tipped, if you have a teacher sit on the lower end during the waterboarding.
  • Love that idea! Plus, those kids are small! You could strap at least 7 kindergartners to one good-sized teeter totter.
  • Yeah, I had to waterboard the Pomeranian today. Yappy little thing. That’ll teach her.
  • Ha! While you’re at it, you might want to preemptively knife that guy who lives three doors down. I think he’s going to break in and rob you. He’s got that look about him. And besides, we know he’s already got some stolen goods. They’re somewhere in his side yard.
  • I’m in Atlanta, and because of the drought, people in my zip code can only waterboard on Tuesdays and Fridays.
  • How sad that I found this so funny, when I then think about those having to endure such torture I no longer smile and yet I am beginning to believe that if one does not use humor in addressing such important issues they begin to lose their place on the front page headlines. (meanwhile, the DU had no sympathy for Americans who were tortured and beheaded by Islamics)
  • that’s funny, i was waterboarding my great grandmother when i read this! Bwahahahaa
  • When waterboarding elderly relatives… Do we need to remove their dentures first? I would hate like hell to get sued for a replacement set.
  • I’m too lazy to waterboard . I just feed my kids e.coli-laden pizza ‘n beef products, and give them lead-based toys to play with.
  • OMFG!!! This is the funniest post I have seen on DU EVER!!!!
  • Absolutely positively brilliant analogy!

While the point, supposedly, of the thread was to use humor to discuss waterboarding, you can really see into the mind of a liberal along the way. Look at the last comment: “absolutely positively brilliant analogy!” As ABC News reported, it was used a grand total of 3 times, including on Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, and has been forbidden since 2003. It led to enormouse amounts of intelligence on al Qaeda operations, past and future, as well as led to the arrests of 6 major terrorists.

Is it something I think should be used? Only in extreme cases, such as KSM. It does approach the line of real torture. But, if it is a choice between American lives and some discomfort for one terrorist, I know which way I will lean.

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3 Responses to “Latest Liberal Intellectual Exercise: Waterboarding The Kids”

  1. Silke says:

    Torture is illegal, immoral and as a former Army Intelligence officer I can tell you it’s also unreliable. In the case of Ibn al-Shykh al-Libi, his false confession was used as part of the justification to invade Iraq.

  2. Scrapiron says:

    Since the liberal democrats have made a big deal of waterboarding which is only a little past putting panties on the heads of terrorists you are going to be in for a shock. The kids are now using waterboarding as a game that grownups just won’t play. As a former left wing democrat Army Intelligence officer you don’t know sh** from shinola. It was used a total of three times on terrorists and saved hundreds if not thousands of lives. When they release a terrorists because he won’t cooperate and he comes and kills your family don’t complain that the attack should have been stopped. You be as guilty of the killing as the trigger man so suck it up.

  3. Silke says:

    Scrapiron, there are many people making “a big deal” about waterboarding – to include former and current military leaders and soldiers (some who have actually experienced torture themselves). The technique you refer to as “a little past putting panties on the heads of terrorist” is actually something closer to this:

    The victim may be immersed in water, have water forced into the nose and mouth, or have water poured onto material placed over the face so that the liquid is inhaled or swallowed. The media usually characterize the practice as “simulated drowning.” That’s incorrect. To be effective, waterboarding is usually real drowning that simulates death. That is, the victim experiences the sensations of drowning: struggle, panic, breath-holding, swallowing, vomiting, taking water into the lungs and, eventually, the same feeling of not being able to breathe that one experiences after being punched in the gut. The main difference is that the drowning process is halted. According to those who have studied waterboarding’s effects, it can cause severe psychological trauma, such as panic attacks, for years.

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