Did I Miss a Memo?

So, I took a walk around the mall, was trying to see if anyone had a new cologne I heard about, which is being put out in the name of that girl, Bethany Hamilton, the one who had her arm bit off by a shark in Hawaii. It is supposed to remind people of being at the ocean. Needless to say, no one had it since it isn’t supposed to come out till later in the year.

However, I must have missed the memo that stated that almost everything had to be in pastel. As I am walking to the men’s section, is see every color of the rainbow. Red, orange, green, purple, blue, yellow, etc. All in pastel. Even the whites are pastel. The sun is bright enough without having spring/summer fashions in pastel. Not just women’s outer-garments. We are talking shoes, purses, scarves, underwear. Even granny panties. You cannot have a proper pirate thong in pastel. It’s just not right!

Then, after wandering through 3/4 of the store, I finally made it to the men’s section, all 4 square feet of it, and everything was pastel, too. I refuse. No. Will not do it. Never!

I know what it is. It is all a Left Wing conspiracy designed to do 2 things:

    1. emasculate men by having them wear the colors and be exposed to the colors
    2. blind men so that liberals can inject them with their namby pambiness neuro-toxins when #1 fails

Men of the world, do not fall for this insidious Left Wing Conspiracy! Rage against the machine! Refuse to wear these colors. Do not let the liberals of the world emasculate you. Make sure you always have your sunglasses with you for when your woman wears these colors. Try and talk them into normal colors. Unite! Courage!

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7 Responses to “Did I Miss a Memo?”

  1. Janette says:

    Wasn’t it the early ’80s that pastels for men were all the rage? Next they’ll bring back Members Only jackets.

    Ooh and the Miami Vice look: 5 o’clock shadow, rolled up jacket arms and shoes with out socks.

  2. phin says:

    It all started years back when Structure switched over to Express for men. Really what self respecting man is going to wear a pink shirt with low rise jeans?

  3. Ogre says:

    Can I go with the 5 o’clock shadow look? I’m just too lazy to keep shaving all the time.

  4. Only if you get a Ferrari.

    There is an urban wear store in my mall, they have an all pink suit in their window. Jacket, shirt, pants, even shoes.

    The 80’s were bad enough. I hope people don’t start wearing their collars up again.

  5. JulieB says:

    Teach, i’m sure that you would look really LOVELY in lavender. Sure. It would go with the purple pirate thong. How ducky. ;-P

  6. JulieB says:

    And yes it’s a Left Wing conspiracy… dang, you’re onto us.

  7. Janette says:

    Do eye patches come in pastels? Ooh and a pink jolly roger. That will look fabulous Darling!

    Maybe Teach needs a Queer Eye for the Priate Guy makeover!

    (snicker, snicker, giggle . . . I’ll probably pay for that one but it was worth it!)

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