Because Someone Drove An SUV To The Store, Reese’s Pieces Will Disappear

We’re dooooooomed

(IBT) Imagine a world without chocolate. Chocolate is definitely slated to become a luxurious commodity if steps are not taken to halt the impact of global warming. This has been emphasized in new findings by the International Centre for Tropical Agriculture (CIAT).

The CIAT study reveals that if preventive measures are not taken, the annual temperature increases and changing rainfall patterns would most likely hamper crop production efforts in West Africa, which currently supplies half of the world’s cocoa produce. Fifty three per cent of the world’s chocolate supplies come from Cote D’Ivoire and Ghana but increase in temperatures and changing precipitation in these regions could mean brisk decline in growing conditions over the coming decades.

Dear God, not chocolate!

(Wall Street Journal) Wholesale prices for big-selling Jif are going up 30 percent starting in November, while Peter Pan will raise prices as much as 24 percent in a couple of weeks. Unilever would not comment on its pricing plans, but a spokesman for Wegmans Food Markets said wholesale prices for all brands it carries, including Skippy, are 30 percent to 35 percent higher than a year ago.

Kraft Foods Inc., which launched Planters peanut butter in June, is raising prices 40 percent on Oct. 31, a spokeswoman said.

Enter the wackadoodles over at Joe Romm’s far left Climate Progress

First, we heard that climate change could decimate the chocolate industry. Now it’s peanut butter. Sending lovers of Reese’s Pieces into a panic, the recent spell of record-setting heat has caused “startling price increases,” according to a piece in the Wall Street Journal…

Chalk up peanut butter as yet another potential causality of climate change. With heat waves getting worse, and the historic Texas drought expected to last well into the decade, the quality of the peanut crop may continue to get worse

The dismal peanut yields this mean consumers will soon be paying more for peanut butter products at the supermarket — adding to the list of gastro-delights like French wine, Italian pasta and German beer that are threatened by a changing climate.

See? You drove your car to work instead of walking (uphill both ways) 20 miles. In the global warming induced snow and cold. And are personally responsible for rising chocolate and peanut prices.

But, hey, remember when the climate was so changed that it was too cold to grow grains for bread in Europe, and people preferred to starve to death rather than eat potatoes? Perhaps the Alarmists could finally tell us what the perfect temperature is for the world, and how they plan to finally live the lives they say everyone else should.

Crossed at Right Wing News and Stop The ACLU. Please sign the drill now petition.

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6 Responses to “Because Someone Drove An SUV To The Store, Reese’s Pieces Will Disappear”

  1. Word says:

    I should think the Soup Nazi’s would be rejoicing. One more thing to not make kids fat.

    Next thing you know they will be leading the charge to build more coal fired power plants and I suspect a major effort at bean banning so that we as Americans are encouraged to fart less to produce less methane.

    Down with Chocolate. Down with Beans. Down with Cows. Down with Sugar. Down with food. Down with everything.

    Stop consuming you evil bastards!!! Just stop it!!!!

  2. Larry says:

    It couldn’t be inflation caused by printing trillions of dollars. Nope, has to be ‘climate change’.

    BTW, the 8 mile trip to work in my Ford Expedition (12-14MPG city) was WONDERFUL!

  3. True, Word, you’d think the lefties would love a reduction in consumerism, alas, they have no morals.

    Good point, Larry. Along those lines, the climate weenies are shocked that prices rise because they have been using food for fuel.

  4. Trish says:

    NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo….not chocolate…not my peanut butter. Okay okay okay, I give…I’ll buy a Prius, no, I’ll buy a Volt. And I am getting rid of all of our gas powered lawn equipment, the chainsaw and all of our non-essential appliances, like the 2nd (beer) fridge and the washer and dryer- who needs ’em. I cna wear dirty clothes. I’ll do anything not to deplete the world of yummy scrumptious chocolate and ooey gooey peanut butter.
    Wait, what’s that? This is another BS story that warmists will use to trick people into being dupes of the AGW crowd?
    F’em. I have to go now and run all of the above mentioned equipment and vehicles in circles for the rest of the day.
    MORONS…

  5. mojo says:

    Nonsense. The rising temps would expand the area in which the plant can grow.

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