20 Rules of Conservatives

From a website called "The Reich-Wing Republican Joke Page" (courtesy of some folks on a forum I post on) comes the "20 Rules of Conservatives: Masters ofTheir Own Domain!"

1) Conservatives are good, you are bad.
2) Conservatives are right, you are wrong.
3) Conservatives are sane, you are not.
4) Conservatives know humor. You do not.
5) Conservatives are humble. You are arrogant.
6) Conservatives are interesting. You are boring.
7) Conservatives tell the truth. You can’t handle the truth.
8) Conservatives know all about you. You know nothing of conservatives.
9) Conservatives are the ultimate arbiter of politeness. You are rude.
10) The comments of conservatives are pointed. Yours are pointless.
11) The sayings of conservatives are full and sufficient. Yours require
    details and citations.
12) Conservatives’ unsubstantiated statements must be accepted as gospel.
    Yours must be immediately retracted.
13) Conservatives pin demeaning nicknames and constantly use them on the
    opposition. Your doing so only shows your desperation.
14) Conservatives are defined by their inconsistencies. Your inconsistency
    defeats your arguments.
15) Conservatives ape your tactics with no compunction. Your tactics are
    out of line.
16) Conservatives are secure in their omniscience. You are merely out to
17) What therefore God hath joined together, let conservatives put asunder that they may smite their enemies as "liberals."
18) Unless cornered, conservatives always must have last word.
19) Conservatives may hold grudges forever. You must get over it.
20) Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

If it is meant to be a joke, it doesn’t work. Since, in this day and age, it is pretty much correct. Except 14. Not realistic. And 12. We do not make unsubstantiated statements.

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7 Responses to “20 Rules of Conservatives”

  1. Ogre says:

    Unfortunately, #1 is becoming more and more true. As the left supports ideas that result in theft of property and rights, they are indeed evil.

  2. “. . . in this day and age, it is pretty much correct”

    Hey, Teach! We agree on something! Conservatives DO believe these things to be true (and you have demonstrated that). Which of course is why they are not amusing to you.

  3. I actually am pretty bad, using the #’s against the Liberal who posted them on the forum I go on.

  4. Billy Budd says:

    Insert the word Parent in place of conservative and you have my house rules.

  5. JulieB says:

    Bad yes, evil no. I’ve been bad for years and intend to continue, thanks.

  6. Nah, the truth is people are remarkably similar. They see the virtues of their allies and the faults of their opponents.

    This is one of the first problems I’m going to address when I take over the world.

  7. William Teach says:

    yeah, could easily substitute Liberal for conservative, and make it work. This was actually written by Liberals, designed to poke fun at Conservatives.

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