Like Snow, Fireworks May Become A Thing Of The Past

All because of climate change!

The worst part is that temperatures are only expected to increase at more rapid rate in the coming decades. If the predictions hold true then fireworks celebrations on July 4th may become something of an anomaly in America. Huge fireworks displays could be something that current Americans tell their children and grandchildren about as a thing of the past.

Could you give me the specific probabilities on that happening? In scientific terms, please.

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6 Responses to “Like Snow, Fireworks May Become A Thing Of The Past”

  1. captainfish says:

    Or, we could event better fireworks in order to prevent grass fires and misfirings. We could invent higher flying fireworks. Will probably cost more, but we love fireworks.

    Or, we could leave firework shows to being over water. Instead of having them at parks and grassy venues, they move to waterside.

    Sheesh.. why do I keep bringing up realism in to these things. AAAaarrghh!! I’ll never learn.

  2. Yeah, but if they go higher, they put evil chemicals in the upper atmosphere, which causes climate change! And the chemicals can spread further!

    And over water, their evil chemicals will pollute the water and cause climate change, killing the coral and cuddly lion fish!

    Man, its difficult to write in Climate Moron, linking everything to AGW.

  3. captainfish says:

    OH MAN!! Dang, you are right. I forgot about those “negative consequences” of everything.

    Aw geesh. We are so screwed.

    Ok, I am building my underground shelter now. Let’s see,…. where’d I put that permit application, environmental impact analysis application, endangered species cost-benefit study application, ground-water report application, request for heavy-equipment application, the heavy-equipment impact analysis application, soil relocation fee form, loss of CO2 sequestration organisms application (tree cutting permission form), and finally, the request to be disconnected off of the grid and disconnect fee forms?

    Yeah, this’ll be easy.

  4. And don’t forget that you have to use environmentally responsible building materials.

    Of course, DHS will investigate you as a right wing extremist.

  5. captainfish says:

    But.. but.. but… I haven’t even gotten around to buying the EPA-approved “Green” non-lead PETA friendly ammo yet?!!?!?

    aawww man!!!! Labeled already.

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