AGW Today: Now Toilet Paper Is Bad

All you tender bottomed folks listen up: you are destroying Gaia!

The tenderness of the delicate American buttock is causing more environmental devastation than the country’s love of gas-guzzling cars, fast food or McMansions, according to green campaigners. At fault, they say, is the US public’s insistence on extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply products when they use the bathroom.

“This is a product that we use for less than three seconds and the ecological consequences of manufacturing it from trees is enormous,” said Allen Hershkowitz, a senior scientist at the Natural Resources Defence Council.

“Future generations are going to look at the way we make toilet paper as one of the greatest excesses of our age. Making toilet paper from virgin wood is a lot worse than driving Hummers in terms of global warming pollution.” Making toilet paper has a significant impact because of chemicals used in pulp manufacture and cutting down forests.

OK, this is an easy one, True Believers. Switch to 100% recylcled brands, and us as little as possible. When you use the can away from home, make sure that the TP is 100% recycled! Better yet, use leaves.

Via Van Helsing.

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One Response to “AGW Today: Now Toilet Paper Is Bad”

  1. darthcrUSAderworldtour2007 says:

    Liberals really don’t use too much toilet paper Teach… Where would they be without
    Q-TIPS?

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