Watch Out For Falling Iguanas In Florida This Christmas

This is probably your fault, for refusing to get an expensive EV, buying Christmas gifts instead of making them, and cooking with something other than a microwave

Christmas in Florida: Cold temps, falling iguanas & no surfing Santas

With unexpectedly cold weather in the forecast and pandemic-related curfews in some places, Florida is about to have a Christmas unlike any other in recent memory, and it may involve falling iguanas.

The National Weather Service earlier this week warned that South Florida could experience the coldest Christmas Day in 21 years. Morning lows on Saturday could drop into the low 30s and 40s degrees Fahrenheit, the weather service said.

“Brrr! Much colder temps expected for Christmas,” the National Weather Service in Miami tweeted earlier this week. “Falling iguanas are possible.”

Because they are cold-blooded reptiles, iguanas living in South Florida trees often become immobile in chilly weather, causing them to drop to the ground when the thermometer plummets, though they are still alive.

In Jacksonville, the temperature was expected to drop 50 degrees, from about 80 degrees Fahrenheit on Thursday to around 30 degrees Fahrenheit on Friday, putting it on the path to being one of the five coldest Christmas Days on record, according to the National Weather Service in Jacksonville.

All this from Extreme Weather caused by too much carbon pollution, you know

The pandemic also was impacting a Space Coast tradition — Surfing Santa Day, which takes place the day before Christmas. Normally drawing hundreds of surfers in Santa costumes to the Cocoa Beach surf and thousands of their cheering supporters on the beach, this year’s event was moved online. Participants were encouraged to individually go surfing or paddle-boarding at their favorite spot and post photos or videos to social media.

See? Your fault!

Remember, if you are in Florida, just leave the iguanas alone, they aren’t dead, just stunned. They’ll be fine when they warm up. And make sure you go vegan for Christmas to stop this horrible horrible climate change extreme weather.

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3 Responses to “Watch Out For Falling Iguanas In Florida This Christmas”

  1. Professor Hale says:

    “coldest in 21 years” = “it was even colder 21 years ago”.

  2. Jl says:

    More heat trapping CO2 causing cold weather…and hot weather, too!

  3. JGlanton says:

    These commenters are hilarious in their selective memory of lack of memory at all. It’s a La Nina year and FLA has had plenty of freezes during these. Frozen citrus crops, frozen iguanas, mass fish kills, there have always been FLA cold spell disasters.

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