An old Letterman Top 10 List
10. After too much eggnog, Mrs. Claus is "all hands."
9. Ever since they hit the big time, those damn Keebler Elves act like we don’t exist.
8. Santa keeps asking, "Does this suit make me look fat?"
7. That idiot Blitzen always mistaking you for a chew toy.
6. You’re enjoying the Jacuzzi, and Santa gets in naked.
5. Now have to work through coffee breaks thanks to the McCaughey septuplets.
4. It’s at least a thousand miles from North Pole to nearest strip club.
3. Next to "race" on the census forms, there’s never a box marked "elf."
2. Hookers who laugh when you take your pants off.
1. Health plan doesn’t cover sleigh rash.
Don’t know about you, but, in this Holiday Season, with Christmas fast approaching, I am a bit tired of the same old Rhetoric of Condemnation. Not really blogapathy, more like a feeling of just telling everyone to shut the f*ck up (nicely, though) about nasty politics, be nice to people, talk civilly, and work together.
And, look, it is the holiday season. It has been for hundreds of years. It originally covered Christmas and the New Year. Then they added Hanukkah, and now Kwanzaa. The problem is that some say Happy Holidays as a measure to try and deny Christmas, now. You have the ACLU trying to do away with all Christmas icons and writings in public. Sales companies calling them "holiday trees." So many people do not want to offend others, in order to make money. Meanwhile, they piss off people who like to say "Merry Christmas."
For me, I usually do not say Merry Christmas till about this time, within two weeks of Christmas. And, I will say Happy Holidays, depending on the situation. I won’t say "Season’s Greetings." Saying that is idiotic. You can write it, but not say it.
Remember, not everything is a War on Christmas. Reserve your ire for those who truly do want to do away with everything that is part of Christmas, and show charity for those who are just being honest and do not mean anything against Christmas.
