You just know this had to be a progressive
NEW YORK (AP) — A peacock that roamed into the parking lot of a fast-food restaurant was attacked by a man who vilified the bird as a vampire, animal-control authorities said.
Beaten so fiercely that most of his tail feathers fell out, the bird was euthanized, said Richard Gentles, a spokesman for the city’s Center for Animal Care and Control.
The peacock, a male several years old, wandered into a Burger King parking lot in the New York borough of Staten Island and perched on a car hood Thursday morning. Charmed employees were feeding him bread when the man appeared.
He seized the iridescent bird by the neck, hurled it to the ground and started kicking and stomping the creature, said worker Felicia Finnegan, 19.
"He was going crazy," she said.
Asked what he was doing, she said, the attacker explained, "’I'm killing a vampire!’"
The nutjob ran away when the people called the police.
Let’s just take the picture of a vampire peacock as imagined. Too tired to photoshop 
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