Today’s Story Of Doom: ‘Climate Change’ Could Make Maple Syrup Extinct Or Something

This is rather a recycled type story of doom, as the Cult of Climastrology was saying that maple syrup was doomed years ago, but, hey, like any good talking point, they’ll bring things back

Please, not the syrup. Climate change could extinguish sugar maple growth
Molasses on pancakes of the future? Not on my watch

The recent and distinctly Canadian cold snaps we’ve been saddled with of late may have you more focused on your layering game than global warming concerns (and do continue to swaddle in style). But with 15,000 scientists signing their names to a global warning against global warming, allow it still to steadily beep on your radar and tend to your carbon footprint accordingly.

In fact, whatever your plans this weekend, it may prove fruitful to recycle a bit more aggressively, lower the heat (see layering above), or take public transport instead of the family sedan. You may also want to make time for a Sunday brunch that involves some breakfast comestible you can put maple syrup on — because all these global warming concerns might well spell extinction for a symbolic pillar of our national identity: sugar maples.

New research suggests that the end is nigh for the only vegetation on the planet that has the near mythical ability to produce maple syrup. Science says the singular species will struggle to weather the warmer, dryer climes we’re almost certainly headed for (yes, I’m using puns and alliteration so you focus — this is urgent). A study that sought to examine air pollution, which does us no real favours, as a catalyst to infuse forest soils with fertile traces of nitrogen has found that it just won’t be (as they’d hoped) enough to buttress maple growth.  (snip)

If industry and economy don’t have you girding up your loins to fight the good fight against global warming, there’s wellness to consider. Some evidence supports the stuff’s impressive albeit lesser explored health properties. Aside from being chock full of phenols (long recognized as antiseptics and antioxidants), maple syrup is also nutrient rich in calcium, iron, magnesium, potassium, zinc and B6. One study showed that phenols in maple syrup even bolstered the benefits of antibiotics to help us fight off treatment-resistant superbugs. Still, even if we could fight off superbugs without maple syrup, why would we want to!?

One has to wonder just how maple trees survived previous Holocene warm periods. Heck, how about when it was warmer prior to the last glacial age? Doesn’t matter, science doesn’t matter to the Cult, it’s all about trying to scare people.

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3 Responses to “Today’s Story Of Doom: ‘Climate Change’ Could Make Maple Syrup Extinct Or Something”

  1. JGlanton says:

    OMG. A 30-sec search will show that U.S. maple sugar production has rapidly increased over the last 10 years and was at an all-time high in 2016. All through years that government ‘experts’ keep telling us to believe are the hottest years on record.

    But by all means, feel free to believe in the prophecies of the Cult Of Doom. Repent now or risk burning in a futre lake of fire with no maple syrup.

  2. Dana says:

    As someone who eats pancakes with butter only, I find the potential loss of maple syrup to bother me not in the slightest.

  3. Jeffery says:

    Big deal. Scientists have known for decades that the changes in global climate from increased CO2 causes shifts in plant and animal population distributions. The range of Acer saccharum will shift northward, needing 90 days sub zero each year for the seeds to propagate. So the native populations get pushed north. Big deal.

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