Warmists: It’d Be Awesome If Everyone Became Shorter

Funny stuff

(Treehugger) Short people simply take up less space. They fly economy and don’t feel squished. They eat happy meals and don’t feel hungry. And as Randy Newman correctly points out, “They got little cars that go beep, beep, beep.” The differences can be huge. The study continues:

A way to reduce ecological footprints, then, would be to reduce size. Since weight increases with the cube of length, even a small reduction in, e.g., height, might produce a significant effect in size, other things being equal (To reduce size, one could also try to reduce average weight or average weight and height, but to keep the discussion simple, we shall use just the example of height). Reducing the average US height by 15 cm (six inches) would mean a mass reduction of 23% for men and 25% for women, with a corresponding reduction of metabolic rate (15%/18%), since less tissue means lower nutrients and energy needs.

The post is tagged with “April Fools”, but, does anyone think the Warmists are kidding?

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6 Responses to “Warmists: It’d Be Awesome If Everyone Became Shorter”

  1. Dana says:

    I’m 6′ 2″ tall, which is, I suppose, now a Crime Against Humanity, or at least Gaia.

    But it does explain why the greenhouse gas emissions agreements allow the Chinese to spew more deadly carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, ’cause the Chinese are, on average, shorter than Americans.

  2. Short & White says:

    If we are going to speak about ‘global warming’ and the construction of the human body, then we should speak about heat absorption. It’s a well known fact that dark colors absorb (and cast off) more heat than lighter colors. The UN should outlaw the reproduction of anyone over 5’6″ and anyone with a dark complexion. THAT would solve a few problems, eh? LOL

  3. Well, Dana, in Warmist World, you should probably be not allowed to breed, because you could have tall kids, which harms Gaia. Of course, tall Warmists are allowed to continue breathing, because they are “spreading awareness.”

    S&W, that’s a hell of a good point. Try that one with some liberals, cause they would go Apoplectic Level 12.

  4. Dana says:

    Mr Teach, I’ve already been bred, but since my darling bride (of 32 years, 10 months and 15 days) is only 5′ tall, perhaps that will mitigate my crimes. Two daughters, but one of them is 5’9″ tall, so that, too, could be a problem.

    Our younger daughter is only 5’5″ tall, but she’s also the whitest white girl in town, which increases her reflectivity factor. Will this be a problem?

  5. I don’t know, Dana: Warmists might still want to have a conversation with you. Because you had more that 1 child, which is bad for Gaia. Well, at least when Someone Else has more than 1 child. Or heck, a child at all. These people really do want to impose mandates of Other People having children. I’ve read actual, real Warmist stories that advocate having lotteries, quotas, and licenses for having children.

    See, the thing is, she’s 5′. But, is that still too tall? Maybe 4’5″ would be better? Then maybe 4′. It’s like their whole “turn your thermostat down a few degrees” notion: down to what? Where does it stop? They never quite answer that.

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