Things I Do Not Understand

Doing the Three's meme opened up a can of worms. Things I do not understand, which require and answer beyond descriptors such as asshole, moron, jerkwad, fool, liberal, etc.

 In no particular order, and added to as time goes on, which will be added to the Page I created.

  • *Women
  • *Putting a turn signal on after using the breaks
  • *Tampons on the beach: is that really necessary?
  • *Why is there a tampon in the mall parking lot?
  • *Driving too fast in a mall parking lot
  • *The light's green. Go, moron!
  • *Reading the paper while driving
  • *people who can only answer debate with invective
  • *how taking the opposite view of your country can be patriotic
  • *ditto with desacrating a Flag
  • *why things go wonky as soon as the warranty expires
  • *why golf balls are designed to curve to the right
  • *how to get a linoleum floor shiny clean
  • *why we have to listen to other people's walky talky conversations
  • *why big, ugly spiders have to build their webs right near where you walk
  • *how there can be 200+ channels and not a blessed thing is on
  • *why liberals constantly undercut the country they say they love
  • *Did I mention women?
  • *people who get sea sick
  • *how a never used room gets dusty
  • *hating people one has never met with a deep, personal passion
  • *what you thinking tailgating me will accomplish (other then making me go the speed limit)
  • *if Al Gore is upset that his internet (yes, I know the real story) has allowed the insane left to go from being disjointed malcontents to organized wackjobs
  • *if the extreme environmentalists realize that their over the top rhetoric and actions harm what they are trying to do
  • *why Democrats are such hypocrites
  • *why Libs love petitions for everything
  • *why we put up with elected officials who do not really represent us, on either side
  • *why your obsession to clean involves me (long story)
  • *is Noah's Ark really in the mountains of Iran?
  • *is the Ark of the Convenant really in a small chapel in Ethiopia?
  • *how some people have a green thumb using the same water and sunlight I do
  • *why programming VCR's and DVD players confuse some people
  • *how people can listen to radio, such as Howard Stern, that is 90% visual
  • *why people actually listen to Gangsta Rap and like it
  • *Mark Levin, Michael Savage, Air America, and other radio that is mostly festering meaness and hatred
  • *today's so called "rock" music
  • *why people ask me "se habla espanol?"
  • *why don't you speak English? Or at least American
  • *people who complain about Bushlerites taking away their civil liberties and destroying the Constitution, but then being unable to cite specific instances and examples
  • *people who cannot drive a traffic circle
  • *political pundits from either side who do not answer the question asked. Mostly liberals, though
  • *people who have to use talking points to discuss anything. What's the point?
  • *why you didn't take a shower and went to the supermarket
  • *having a strong conviction but being unable to back it up
  • *why people like adults playing organized soccer
  • *people who do not like hockey
  • *loud pipes on a 'Vette. It's a 'Vette!
  • *spinner hubcaps
  • *pants that are falling down around ones ass
  • *what's with carrying a towel around?
  • *lowrider pants on women that create muffin tops.
  • *why the makers of the Miracle Bra haven't been sued for creating false advertisements. Think about it.
  • *People who do not understand the difference between a Theory and a Law
  • *Why Christina Aguillera is a "pop diva." She has finally released her third studio album in seven years. In the old days, musicians would release an album at least once a year or so, then tour.
  • *People who root for the Eagles (Egirls), Flyers, NY Rangers, Deadskins, and SF Giants. Have you no self respect?

What don't you get?

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5 Responses to “Things I Do Not Understand”

  1. Stacy says:

    I concur on most of those. Traffic circles, ugh. Okay women; I’ll tell you what I tell all men. Don’t bother to understand us, I’ve been inside my head for almost 38 years now and I’m still confused. Men are simple, I think that’s why I adore them so much. Food, sex, sleep and a sense of accomplishment with their work. We are far more complex. I drive myself crazy.

  2. William Teach says:

    I don’t even bother trying to understand women at this point. I just go with the flow, see where the situation takes me. It is easier, and more exciting, that way 🙂

  3. Stacy says:

    My husband sums it up like this-“being with you is like riding a bucking horse, I’m just hanging on for dear life and seeing where it takes me”. But he does wear the pants, I’m not that bad.

    And, just noticed your Primate status, congrats.

  4. William Teach says:

    Thanks. We’ll see if it lasts, or if the Ecosystem goes wonkadoodle again 🙂

  5. Raven says:

    I understand women pretty good. They are all crazy. With too many stupid emotions that get the better of them. I try to let them all go, at times it doesn’t work though. I need my emotions, but I don’t use them to explain my behavior. Women are too wishy washy- we read too much into every scene and situation. It can be really hard to admit this stuff but I have learned…just say things as they are, be honest, don’t worry about hurting feelings, and be who you are. You can’t fail if you do these things.

Pirate's Cove