Another day, another unhinged prognostication of something that is maybe, possibly, we’re-not-entirely-sure that it will happen but, hey, this ain’t science, so we can say whatever we want to attempt to scare you into compliance and give up your freedom and money
Your favorite ice cream flavors could go extinct in your lifetime
There are many downsides associated with climate change, but for some, the death of some of the most delicious Ben & Jerry’s flavors may feel closest to home.
Yes, in a few decades, according to the popular (and often political) ice cream company’s blog, climate change may lead to the demise of Half Baked, Chubby Hubby, Phish Food and many more.
While some still deny that climate change is an issue, most people realize it’s more serious than ever. The rise in temperatures are predicted to lead to a number of crop shortages, many of which are critical for many Ben & Jerry’s flavors, the company noted.
“We rely on farmers all over the world for our ingredients,” the company wrote, “and when they don’t have the predictable weather patterns needed for farming, that can mean no cocoa, no peanuts, and no Peanut Butter Cup ice cream.”
One has to wonder, how much in the way of energy and fossil fuels is used to produce this ice cream? And what of all the milk from methane polluting cows? Furthermore, when have weather patterns been utterly predictable? Oh, right, we aren’t supposed to ask inconvenient questions as to motivations, actions, and Science.
Anyway, they predict this doom. Heck, nut trees could go extinct from a tiny increase in global temperatures! And cocoa! And vanilla beans! All these plants and trees that have survived multiple warm and cool periods suddenly cannot take it. Or so say people who vastly resemble a cult.
