Semi-retired President To Make Oval Office Broadcast On San Bernardino Islamic Terrorist Attack

He’ll surely tell us to remain calm, all is well

(CNN) President Barack Obama on Sunday night will deliver a rare Oval Office address about terror threats in the aftermath of the San Bernardino, California, shootings that claimed 14 lives. CNN and other networks will broadcast it live at 8 p.m. ET.

The White House says the president will provide an update on the investigation. Federal authorities have said the attacks are being investigated as an act of terrorism.

“The President will also discuss the broader threat of terrorism, including the nature of the threat, how it has evolved, and how we will defeat it,” White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest said in a statement. “He will reiterate his firm conviction that ISIL will be destroyed and that the United States must draw upon our values — our unwavering commitment to justice, equality and freedom — to prevail over terrorist groups that use violence to advance a destructive ideology.”

Will he say what we’ve all known for a long time, that ISIS is not a JV team, and, along with the rest of radical Islam, presents an real and substantial threat to the United States?

I think we really know how this will go:

  • It’s scheduled for 8pm, so, it will start at around 8:10 (not his usual late, because he wants to be done by kickoff)
  • He’ll blame the rise of ISIS on Bush’s “war of choice” in Iraq
  • He’ll minimize the danger to the United States and its citizens from ISIS and other radical Islamic groups
  • He won’t even use the phrase “radical Islam” or anything near that
  • He’ll trot out the strawman that blaming all Muslims is, to put it simply, Islamophobia and un-American
  • He’ll make some equivalency arguments about Christians and the Crusades and Inquisition
  • He’ll say that his strategy in fighting ISIS is working (despite all appearances)
  • He’ll quickly veer into other subjects, starting with allowing all the Syrian refugees in, and will say they go through the “most rigorous background checks, without mentioning that they rely on the refugees deciding to tell the truth
  • He’ll spend a lot of time on instituting gun control, failing to mention that California has the exact type of gun laws that he and other liberals say will stop these types of shootings
  • He’ll whine about Republicans blocking the use of the no-fly list for gun ownership, an arbitrary list with little to no due process, which would have made it impossible for Senator Ted Kennedy to obtain a firearm. For a so-called “Constitutional scholar”, he sure seems to fail at knowing and enforcing the Bill of Rights
  • He’ll have his sad face on, and end up telling us with a wag of a finger that we had best not be mean and say negative things about Muslims
  • The only time Obama will get passionate will be during the gun control portion. He’ll be dull as dishtowel while discussing the actual shooting, because he really just doesn’t care

The only question remains, will he veer into a discussion of climate change, and how climate change creates terrorists and wars and refugees, and how the climate meetings in Paris will Solve All? I’m going to give that a 35% chance at showing up during his surely long, long, boring finger wagging session.

Crossed at Right Wing News.

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9 Responses to “Semi-retired President To Make Oval Office Broadcast On San Bernardino Islamic Terrorist Attack”

  1. Jeffery says:

    He’ll blame the rise of ISIS on Bush’s “war of choice” in Iraq

    … I doubt he’ll say that, even though it is true.

    He’ll minimize the danger to the United States and its citizens from ISIS and other radical Islamic groups

    … I doubt he’ll say that, even though it is true.

    He won’t even use the phrase “radical Islam” or anything near that

    … And rightly so. Would you want him to mention “radical Christianity” in connection to the recent terrorist attack on Planned Parenthood? Or radical Conservativism for Anders Breivik? Radical Whitism for Dylann Roof?

    He’ll trot out the strawman that blaming all Muslims is, to put it simply, Islamophobia and un-American

    … Blaming all Muslims is, to put it simply, Islamophobia. Is you claiming that there are no influential Republicans/Conservatives who blame Islam for terrorism?

    He’ll make some equivalency arguments about Christians and the Crusades and Inquisition

    … Unlikely.

    He’ll say that his strategy in fighting ISIS is working (despite all appearances)

    …How would you fight ISIS? (I don’t mean personally, lol).

    He’ll quickly veer into other subjects, starting with allowing all the Syrian refugees in, and will say they go through the “most rigorous background checks, without mentioning that they rely on the refugees deciding to tell the truth

    … I hope so.

    He’ll spend a lot of time on instituting gun control, failing to mention that California has the exact type of gun laws that he and other liberals say will stop these types of shootings

    … This is the flawed ammosexual argument. Clearly it’s easy to get around the laws of individual states. What we’re doing now isn’t working – we have the highest murder rate of advanced nations. Shouldn’t our 300 million guns be keeping us safe by now?

  2. drowningpuppies says:

    President Momjeans is going to say how taking away our weapons is going to save us from bomb making jihadists.
    Then he’s gonna remind us that none of this would have happened if we had gotten serious about Climate Change. He’ll also announce that he has ordered Loretta Lynch to double down on punishing those who criticize the prophet Mohammed.
    Then something about how all those poor refugees will be like totally vetted because well, …shut up racist!
    Next he will tell us how he’s done everything to keep us safe so if anything happens… blame those meanie ol’ republicans.

  3. Conservative Beaner says:

    Obama will blame everybody/everything except himself.

  4. And rightly so. Would you want him to mention “radical Christianity” in connection to the recent terrorist attack on Planned Parenthood? Or radical Conservativism for Anders Breivik? Radical Whitism for Dylann Roof?

    If an attack is carried out by a radical Christian, Conservative, or white supremacist, sure, no problem. There’s no proof the PP shooter did it in the name of Christianity. Conservatism in Europe is not the same as in America. Dylann Roof is a White Supremacist, and does not represent me or my party, but, regardless, they’re all in the minority. Why are you lefties so concerned about calling out what you say is a tiny portion of Islam?

    Blaming all Muslims is, to put it simply, Islamophobia. Is you claiming that there are no influential Republicans/Conservatives who blame Islam for terrorism?

    But, we aren’t blaming all Muslims. You lefties keep trotting out that strawman. You lefties say you’re smarter than Conservatives, but, you don’t seem to have much memory retention.

    … Unlikely.

    He’s done it before.

    How would you fight ISIS? (I don’t mean personally, lol).

    How about actually going after them with our military assets? Bomb the hell out of them over there. Special operations forces. Work to deny them money. Bomb the oil fields. What he’s doing now is not working.

    This is the flawed ammosexual argument. Clearly it’s easy to get around the laws of individual states. What we’re doing now isn’t working – we have the highest murder rate of advanced nations. Shouldn’t our 300 million guns be keeping us safe by now?

    California has some of the toughest laws in the country. They have everything you guys want in gun control and more. Are you saying that they don’t work?

  5. jl says:

    J-“I doubt he’ll say that, even though it’s true.” (rise of ISIS cause by Bush’s war of choice in Iraq)…says J, with absolutely no proof. J-“He rightly won’t use the term “radical Islam.” But it is radical Islam, simple as that.

  6. Jeffery says:

    Yikes. William was wrong on almost every prediction.

    Our President even started on time!

  7. drowningpuppies says:

    He won’t even use the phrase “radical Islam” or anything near that Check
    He’ll trot out the strawman that blaming all Muslims is, to put it simply, Islamophobia and un-American Check
    He’ll say that his strategy in fighting ISIS is working Check
    He’ll spend a lot of time on instituting gun control, failing to mention that California has the exact type of gun laws that he and other liberals say will stop these types of shootings Check
    He’ll whine about Republicans blocking the use of the no-fly list for gun ownership… Check
    He’ll have his sad face on, and end up telling us with a wag of a finger that we had best not be mean and say negative things about Muslims Check
    The only time Obama will get passionate will be during the gun control portion. He’ll be dull as dishtowel while discussing the actual shooting, because he really just doesn’t care Check

    Pretty good job there, Teach.

  8. Jeffery says:

    drowningpuppies typed a bunch of stuff:

    false
    false
    false etc

  9. drowningpuppies says:

    Synopsis of president rimjob’s speech:

    1) Okay, okay, that stuff you said was terrorism, was terrorism. There, I said it. You happy now?

    2) I’m really Commander-in-Chief, y’all. I order soldiers to do stuff. But no ground troops (Special Forces don’t count). That’s what “ISIL” wants.

    3) It’s totally stupid not to do gun control

    4) Love me some Muslims. Best allies ever, let’s bring a bunch of them over here.

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