Grist: Christmas Ruined In 6-10 Years Cause Climate Change

Dooooooom!

Climate change will ruin Christmas by threatening Christmas trees

It will take six to 10 years, but Christmas is ruined — and not for the reasons Sarah Palin thinks. Climate change is continuing its rampage through everything you love by threatening Christmas trees. (Actually, maybe this will finally get the GOP on board with fixing climate change.)

This year was so bad for Christmas tree growers, what with heat waves and flash floods and whatnot, that a bunch of them have decided that they’re not going to plant new crops. Trees, being trees, take a while to mature, so there are still a few years of tree crops on these farms waiting to get chopping down and trucked to living rooms across America. But once they’re done, that’s it.

Funny, cause North Carolina’s Christmas tree industry did pretty darned well this year. Wisconsin’s industry is doing quite well. So are others. But, hey, you know, weather never occurred prior to 1988, when CO2 went above 350ppm. And Warmists are also predicting gloom and doom sometime later.

Only rich families will be able to afford real trees; less-rich people will be forced to buy plastic trees, which, even if they’re reused year after year, are not the best for the climate, either. And without the tree, what is Christmas?

A bit of Progressive class warfare.

Well, it’s whatever it was before Germans decided in the 1600s to pitch Christianity to the pagan-oriented by adopting the midwinter tradition of bringing greenery inside. And, hey, with climate change, you won’t need to bring greenery inside, because it will be warm enough to go outside. Anyone want to get in on the ground floor of the new Christmas bikini industry?

Interesting, because 4 of the past 5 winters have been brutal, especially in Europe, Western Asia, the Middle East, and the Southern Hemisphere.

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5 Responses to “Grist: Christmas Ruined In 6-10 Years Cause Climate Change”

  1. UncleDan says:

    Hysterical that this ass of a writer is dragging out the tired ‘warm winter’ topic when Drudge is headlining -40 temps across the midwest.
    Ironically, that’s hysterical too as environmentalist wackos will seize upon the cold temperatures as proof of climate change. Because the midwest states, Rockies, and great plains states never get cold in the winter.

  2. Blick says:

    If it wasn’t so stupid, this would almost be funny. Typical environ-control freakazoid thinks Christmas is about evergreen trees. There is a hidden and very secret meaning behind Christ’s-mass and it has nothing to do with trees.
    Do these warmists ever think about other people? How about those in the tropics? They use palm fronds to make their Christmas trees. Such provincial thinking by a warmist.I thought they has a global perspective.

  3. Future_Frozen_Gumballs says:

    warmists dont think Blick.

    5 of our last 9 winters have been brutal. We are about to get a really cold one coming up here in about 3 hours.

    Climate change is continuing its rampage through everything you love by threatening Christmas trees.

    Yes, because everything and everything and everything revolves around the christmas tree. You want to go fishing? Nope, you need a christmas tree. You want to go shopping with your honey? Nope, you need a christmas tree. You want to start your car on a cold winter morning? Ok, yeah, burning a christmas tree under your car to melt the frozen block, could theoretically help, but, more then likely just burn your car to bits.

    Want to paint your house? Christmas tree.
    Want to take out the trash? Christmas tree.
    Want to fly to paris for a wedding? christmas tree.

    See. Perfect logical christmas tree sense.

    Only rich families will be able to afford real trees; less-rich people will be forced to buy plastic trees

    Except, plastic trees are more expensive than real trees. hmmm.. go figure. And what does “less-rich” mean?

    And, hey, with climate change, you won’t need to bring greenery inside, because it will be warm enough to go outside.

    SCREW YOU!! AND YOUR LIES! I don’t want frostbite. When the gauge says 24F and falling, that usually tells me that it is cold.

  4. Saturday morning links…

    50 Years After Vaccine Creation, Measles Still Threatens U.S. A fine winter getaway: Anse Chastenet on St. Lucia SoHo: Unplanned Urban Renewal Maintenance sex What good is the Fed? The Fed Turns 100: A Survey of the Critics Multiculturalis…

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