Witches Plan Ceremony To Put The Whammy On Trump

On the bright side, it will probably be more peaceful than the usual leftist protest

(AOL) Get your covens ready.

Protest may be the new brunch, but witches are joining together worldwide in a more magical form of resistance to cast a spell on President Donald Trump, reports say.

A document circling the internet in both private and public witchcraft groups contains a spell to bind Trump to all who abet him, and even muggles (non-magic folks for those unfamiliar with Harry Potter) are encouraged to participate.

The binding ritual is to be performed monthly by those who practice the craft until Trump is removed from office.

So, basically everyone, because magic isn’t real. Unless one takes lots of drugs. They plan on doing this Friday night, and every night there is a crescent moon. Until Trump is out of office.

They need candles, and Tarot cards, and all sorts of things, in order to chant this

“Hear me, oh spirits
Of Water, Earth, Fire, and Air
Heavenly hosts
Demons of the infernal realms
And spirits of the ancestors
(Light inscribed orange candle stub)
I call upon you
To bind
Donald J. Trump
So that he may fail utterly
That he may do no harm
To any human soul
Nor any tree
Animal
Rock
Stream

Bind him so that he shall not break our polity
Usurp our liberty
Or fill our minds with hate, confusion, fear, or despair
And bind, too,
All those who enable his wickedness
And those whose mouths speak his poisonous lies

I beseech thee, spirits, bind all of them
As with chains of iron
Bind their malicious tongues
Strike down their towers of vanity

It gets even wackier after that, as you can read at the HuffPost.

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2 Responses to “Witches Plan Ceremony To Put The Whammy On Trump”

  1. Jl says:

    So Hillary hasn’t retired yet?

  2. Blick says:

    Gee, if they can control somebody with their spells, why have they not done this with CO2? and globull warming?

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