Good Grief: Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer Has A “Gay Subtext” Or Something

It’s the holiday season, with Christmas looming large. Insane Social Justice Warriors haven’t been particularly interested in attempting to destroy New Year’s Eve nor Hanukkah, but, Christmas has always been their main target (as long as they still continue to get the day off as a paid holiday, of course). So, of course, we end up with bat guano insane things like this

The Gay Subtext of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Thinking back on the children’s Christmas specials of yore with an adult frame of reference can be a little bit dizzying. There is the suffocating consumerist melancholy of A Charlie Brown Christmas, the existential dread of a magical friend’s impending death in Frosty the Snowman, and the political allegory of Heat Miser’s rise to power that is A Year Without a Santa Clause.

But nothing, absolutely nothing, is changed with a close, analytical reading of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the 1964 stop-motion special. I mean, just look at it: Rudolph is totally, absolutely, 100 percent, Neil-Patrick-Harris-French-kissing-Ricky-Martin gay. Anyone who even knows what Queer Theory is can tell you that the subtext of the narrative seems to be a pre-Stonewall contemplation of the power of coming out and embracing sexual minorities into society at large.

If you’re thinking “it can’t possibly go downhill,” nope, sorry!

The film starts in the North Pole, where traditional gender roles are quickly reinforced. Mrs. Claus does all the cooking and nags her husband about not eating enough. The elves, identical in shape and apparel, are at work on Santa’s toys, the boys wearing blue and the girls wearing pink. Rudolph is born to Donner, who immediately hates his son’s red nose and thinks that something so different will keep him from leading a heterosexual life where he pulls Santa’s sleigh and marries a nice doe someday. (snip)

“For a year the Donner family did a good job hiding Rudolph’s — non-conformity,” the narrator tells us, pausing slightly before landing on the right euphemism. This is the closet of Rudolph’s parents devising, which he goes along with thanks to the internalized homophobia that he inherited from both his father and Santa, the superego of the North Pole, who is equally distressed by Rudolph’s difference. Santa even goes so far as to tell Donner that he should be ashamed of his son and try to change him. It’s almost as if Santa is a church elder trying to force Rudolph into conversion therapy.

Of course, Hermey, the elf who wants to be a dentist, is painted as a flaming gay, and

When Hermey and Rudolph run into each other, they reprise their song about being misfits, singing, “seems to us kind of silly that we don’t fit in.” Now that these two young gay men have met each other, they realize that the oppression of sexual conformity they’ve been living under their whole lives is a total sham.

And even Yukon Cornelius is gay, being the first “lumbersexual.”

And the Island of Misfit Toys? That’s right, they’re all part of the LGBT community!

The Abominable Snow Monster? He’s “a fanged embodiment of violent homophobia.”

And Gay Rudolph and company save Christmas because Santa and the rest embrace the differenceness of gayness!

Some people have entirely too much time on their hands.

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6 Responses to “Good Grief: Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer Has A “Gay Subtext” Or Something”

  1. Jeffery says:

    It’s usually the religious right, fearful that homosexuality be socially acceptable, that finds gay subtexts in movies. Remember Happy Feet, about a penguin who danced instead of sang? Totally normalizing gayness according to James Dobson. Not to mention it had pro-environment undertones!

    Anyway, there’s a plethora of movies, books and TV shows where “outcasts” and “underdogs” and “losers” overcome obstacles and bigotry to win acceptance. It’s a primary theme in fiction.

    “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” — Sigmund Freud

  2. Jeffery says:

    Forgot to add:

    The biggest worry to the right is that children will inculcate the qualities of kindness, acceptance, tolerance for differences and open-mindedness.

    Remember, new conservatism worships at the church of Ayn Rand where the qualities of kindness and tolerance are viewed as weaknesses to be exploited by the strong and powerful, and where ruthless self-interest is the only acceptable quality.

    Sick children? Let them die. Their parents should have been better.

    Conservatives have no kindness in them.

  3. Rev.Hoagie® says:

    The biggest worry to the right is that children will inculcate the qualities of kindness, acceptance, tolerance for differences and open-mindedness.

    That’s not the right’s biggest worry. The right’s biggest worry is that the radical communist left will “inculcate” weakness, fear and lawlessness into children by replacing virtues such as honesty, equality under law, patriotism, honor, braveness, and the can do attitude that makes America exceptional. You see, kindness, acceptance, tolerance and open-mindedness only gets a culture or society so far then they get taken over by the unkind, the unaccepting, the intolerant and those whose minds are so “open” their brains fell out.

    You need to remember that when you draw with sweeping broad strokes about “new conservatism” (which there is no such thing you made it up), and people worshiping at the church of Ayn Rand (again no such thing you made it up), you are guilty of mass stereotyping. You seem to think that people who believe in self reliance and rugged individualism can’t recognize a person in need when they see one. That’s the type of foolish presumption that causes you to distain deplorables and lose elections. Please keep doing it.

    Then when you say spurious nonsense like “Sick children? Let them die. Their parents should have been better.” or “Conservatives have no kindness in them.” you show your bigotry and ignorance of your fellow citizen and again will lose. Keep it up.

    You just love people who are victims because they need you. We’re not and we don’t.

  4. drowningpuppies says:

    I’m not sure about anyone else but I really get a kick out being told about how I think, act, and live by a little lying leftist psycho ass-slamming guy who lied about serving in the Army.

  5. Jl says:

    2018 mid-terms looking better and better.

  6. Phil Schifley says:

    Nice job in your piece of celebrating the openness of understanding your burgeoning sexuality in the old days when this stuff was all under wraps. If some kid discovering that he or she had different attractions then their friends saw this and felt a little more comforted or not so alone, then that’s awesome. A really good story can be a fun watch for a straight kid and mean something more personal and validating for a gay kid. Way to recognize and support that. Way to show we all move to the beat of our own drum.

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