Men, just to make sure we are clear on the language of women
- FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.
- Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Don't be mad about this, it is just the same 5 minutes you use when it's your turn to help do things around the house.
- Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (see #1).
- Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
- Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing . (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
- That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
- Thanks: A woman is thanking you – do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.
- Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong" – for the woman's response refer to #3.
- I'll drive: this either means she is questioning your manhood, or she is (rightly) scared to death of your Richard Petty impersonation
- Are watching (insert sport here) again? It's chore jar time
- Sure, you can buy that. Refer to #6
- Come here: you are a puppy
- You never listen: you never listen. Prepare for #5
- Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "%@&* YOU!"
Shortest book in history
Trackposted to Outside the Beltway, Perri Nelson's Website, Right on the Right, The Virtuous Republic, Mark My Words, basil's blog, DragonLady's World, The Bullwinkle Blog, Jo's Cafe, Conservative Cat, Conservative Thoughts, Pursuing Holiness, Faultline USA, third world county, stikNstein… has no mercy, Blue Star Chronicles, and High Desert Wanderer, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.
