What Women’s Words Really Mean

Men, just to make sure we are clear on the language of women 

  1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.
  2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Don't be mad about this, it is just the same 5 minutes you use when it's your turn to help do things around the house.
  3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (see #1).
  4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
  5. Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing . (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
  6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
  7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you – do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.
  8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong" – for the woman's response refer to #3.
  9. I'll drive: this either means she is questioning your manhood, or she is (rightly) scared to death of your Richard Petty impersonation
  10. Are watching (insert sport here) again? It's chore jar time
  11. Sure, you can buy that. Refer to #6
  12. Come here: you are a puppy
  13. You never listen: you never listen. Prepare for #5
  14. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "%@&* YOU!"

Shortest book in history

Trackposted to Outside the Beltway, Perri Nelson's Website, Right on the Right, The Virtuous Republic, Mark My Words, basil's blog, DragonLady's World, The Bullwinkle Blog, Jo's Cafe, Conservative Cat, Conservative Thoughts, Pursuing Holiness, Faultline USA, third world county, stikNstein… has no mercy, Blue Star Chronicles, and High Desert Wanderer, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

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9 Responses to “What Women’s Words Really Mean”

  1. darthcrUSAderworldtour2007 says:

    One of the reason’s that I am blest to be married for over 24 wonderful years is Frau Vader’s Marriage Manual General Order Number One:

    Rule #1: The wife (mothership) is never
    wrong.
    Rule #2: When in question of the wife (mothership) is in doubt, go back to
    Rule #1. – Death Star Marriage Manual

    PS: Does Slick Willie Clinton read this manual?

  2. Stacy says:

    Heh, love it. True, true.

  3. 2 words that every man should practice (other then I love you) “yes, dear” 🙂

  4. […] finally found a Women’s to Men’s language translation: What Women’s Words Really Mean. 1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut […]

  5. kathy says:

    HA! I am sending the list to my husband!

  6. lonevoice says:

    Heh…

    (probably wouldn’t let the wife see you read these…)

  7. David Drake says:

    I usually try, “I’m not a mind-reader…” — but it never works.

  8. It’s too perfect! The book must have been written by either a woman or a woman telling the man what to say! I tend to think it’s the latter!!

    Thanks for the entertaining post! I have been to your site before and always enjoy my stay here, would you mind if I put “Pirate’s Cove” on my Blogroll?

  9. Blogrolling would be much appreciate. I’ll add ya back!

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