The Eclipse Is Racist Or Something

The eclipse begins today around 1pm eastern time. We’ve already seen such things as having it be a call to action on ‘climate change’, so, why not this?

The Eclipse Is Racist Because It Fails To Affect Enough Black People, The Atlantic Suggests

The Atlantic, a once-great magazine, has determined that the total eclipse of the sun due to occur on Monday will fail to affect enough black people.

The Atlantic’s very lengthy essay on the failure of the eclipse to occur where a sufficient number of black people reside is entitled “American Blackout.” It clocks in at a remarkable 4,544 words and does not appear to be satire.

Concerning “the Great American Eclipse,” Brooklyn Law School professor Alice Ristroph writes in the rapidly deteriorating magazine, “there live almost no black people” “along most of its path.”

The Atlantic’s longwinded law professor assures readers that “implicit bias of the solar system” is “presumably” not the cause of eclipse’s failure to affect enough black people.

“Still, an eclipse chaser is always tempted to believe that the skies are relaying a message.”

So, it starts over in Oregon (which primarily votes Democrat) which has a low population of Black people. Are we supposed to force Blacks to live there? How about Wyoming and Idaho?

After an extensive discourse criticizing the U.S. Census, The Atlantic tells readers that the eclipse will travel through Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa and Missouri. In this section of its essay, The Atlantic manages to drop the names of Bruce Springsteen, Jesse James, Eminem, Chelsea Manning, Michael Brown and Howard Zinn (a shallow socialist writer panned even by most serious socialists).

After considerable whining about the Electoral College and the way Congress is organized, The Atlantic moves on to southern Illinois, Kentucky and Tennessee. There’s substantial discussion of the Ku Klux Klan in this section — and, of course, slavery.

The article complains about Abraham Lincoln and says he didn’t go far enough with his Emancipation Proclamation (which means his statues and busts will soon need to come down.

In its final paragraph, The Atlantic concludes that the United States is “still segregated” and has “debts that no honest man can pay.” Cryptically, the magazine suggests, “the strange path of the eclipse suggests a need for reorganization” of the entire American political system.

Let’s look at that last paragraph, because the Derp is strong

And then the shadow goes to sea, still indifferent to the Earth below, indifferent to the little creatures here, indifferent to these people indifferent to their own histories. Or perhaps we are not indifferent, but just no more capable than butterflies and bees of seeing the long path and of deciding to change it. The Great American Eclipse illuminates, or darkens, a land still segregated, a land still in search of equality, a land of people still trying to dominate each other. When the lovely glow of a backlight fades, history is relentless, just one damn fact after another, one damning fact after another. America is a nation with debts that no honest man can pay. It is too much to ask that these debts simply be forgiven. But perhaps the strange path of the eclipse suggests a need for reorganization. We have figured out, more or less, how to count every person. We have not yet found a political system in which every person counts equally.

This is somehow in the “science” section. But, then, these are people who also believe that people can choose their gender by the day.

Crossed at Right Wing News.

Save $10 on purchases of $49.99 & up on our Fruit Bouquets at 1800flowers.com. Promo Code: FRUIT49
If you liked my post, feel free to subscribe to my rss feeds.

Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed

4 Responses to “The Eclipse Is Racist Or Something”

  1. GOODSTUFF says:

    Alice Ristroph joined the faculty in 2017. She teaches and writes in criminal law and procedure, constitutional law, and political theory, with particular emphasis on issues of violence and resistance.

  2. Dana says:

    Of course, Jeffrey’s Dr Ristroph’s article neglects to mention that the eclipse ended its land path over South Carolina, a heavily black state.

    When the lovely glow of a backlight fades, history is relentless, just one damn fact after another, one damning fact after another. America is a nation with debts that no honest man can pay. It is too much to ask that these debts simply be forgiven. But perhaps the strange path of the eclipse suggests a need for reorganization. We have figured out, more or less, how to count every person. We have not yet found a political system in which every person counts equally.

    Assuming that she isn’t referring to the national debt, which does look unpayable, just how do I owe some sort of debt from slavery? I was born in 1953, ninety years after the Emancipation Proclamation. I never owned a slave, and, my maternal ancestors being New Englanders, and my father’s people having emigrated from Portugal in the 1880s, none of my ancestors (of whom I know) owned slaves.

    Segregation? The South, where I grew up, is a lot more integrated than the north; the most segregated public school system in America happens to be that bastion of liberalism, New York City.

    Every person does count equally in our political system, in that every citizen has the same right to vote; that some choose not to does not mean they don’t have the right.

    But, let’s be plain here: not everybody is created equal. Some are smarter, bigger, taller, more athletic, better-looking, harder working and just plain luckier than others. That will never change.

  3. Jeffery says:

    David Duke’s Dana’s diatribe ignores America’s long history of racial oppression. It just so happened that over the decades white men were “luckier” than others. White guys approve of their good “luck”.

  4. jl says:

    “luckier than others…” Translated: one’s lot in life is very dependent on personal choices.

Bad Behavior has blocked 9793 access attempts in the last 7 days.