Pirate's Cove

In case you haven’t noticed, climate alarmists truly amuse me. And like a good comedian, they never fail to bring the funny. Mother Nature Network brings the comedy gold told, with 8 ways climate change can kill you

1. It’s getting hot in here…..In fact, the World Health Organization estimates that 150,000 people are already killed by climate change-related issues every year, and UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon has said that global warming poses as much of a threat to the world as war. (The climate has probably been killing that many or more every year since the dawn of Mankind.)
2. Extreme weather: Tornadoes, volcanoes and hurricanes, oh my! NASA climate models predict that a warmer planet means more severe storms with strong winds, heavy rain, damaging hail, deadly lightning and increased potential for tornadoes. Melting ice and rising sea levels can also affect the Earth’s crust, causing land to rebound and triggering volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and tsunamis. (And many studies say that is complete bunk. This is climahysteria at its worst)
3. High temperatures (wait, isn’t this the same as “it’s getting hot in here?”)
4. Difficulty in food production: As temperatures rise, droughts become more common and destructive storms become more frequent, it will be increasingly more difficult to produce food. (and when it gets cold, like during the Little Ice Age, people have trouble raising food. People adapt. Anyhow, if that’s the case, why are we wasting food by turning it into crappy fuel?)
5. Animal attack: there have been multiple bear attacks in the U.S. this year, and wildlife officials are advising people to put away birdseed and secure their trash to discourage the animals. Why are bears so hungry? Because berries, pinecones and nuts are in short supply due to poor growing conditions caused by climate change. (it couldn’t have anything to do with man encroaching on nature, could it? Maybe people should be cautious around wild animals with nails like kitchen knives)
6. Poor air quality: Death by smog will become increasingly common on an overheated planet — warmer temperatures help intensify smog levels. In fact, doctors have said that smog-related deaths could rise by 80 percent over the next 20 years. (there’s that heavily scientific word “could” again.)
7. Lack of clean water: Floods and other changes in weather patterns will affect the quality of water, making clean water scarcer than it already is, and devastating droughts will exacerbate the situation.(And when it gets really cold, water is locked up in ice. Good thing modern society is capable of making water potable, unlike during the middle ages, which is where the alarmists want to take society)
8. Disease: Global warming may be bad news for us, but it’s good news for disease-carrying mice, rats and insects. Warm-weather insects like ticks and mosquitoes used to be restricted to tropical areas and were killed off in the winter, but they’re now living longer and migrating farther north. (Ticks and mosquitoes are tropical weather insects? That’s weird, I distinctly remember them while growing up on the Jersey shore. I remember Mom doing a tick check after playing in the woods up at my godfather’s camp on Long Lake, NY. Oh, I also remember a bear snuffling around the buildings. That was around 1974.)
9. Wars – because war never happened before man caused global warming.

Oh, wait, that’s 9 things. Perhaps they meant #1 to be the overall scheme? Regardless, Mother Nature Network and the other alarmists always tell us what we should do, never what they themselves are doing to mitigate their carbon footprint.

And, hey, nothing about pirates? What’s up with that?

One of the comments

For 24 years we could have addressed birth control, not climate control because over population was the REAL issue we ALL could have agreed on but we ended up wasting a quarter of a century on weather control instead of population control, because of irresponsible CO2 environwMENTALism.

You first, chump.

Crossed at Right Wing News and Stop The ACLU. Re-Change 2010!