Category Archives: Humor

Election Of Obama Reduces U.S. Shark Attacks

Not only did he lower the seas and heal the Earth, but, wow, I must say, wow
The not-so-good news for swimmers: shark attacks worldwide rose marginally in 2009. But the brighter news for those splashing into American waters is that attacks off U.S. shores plummeted more than 30 percent.
In 2009, there were 61 total shark [...]

Pakistani Ambassador Rejected Because He Is The Biggest Dick

Funny stuff from the Middle East
A high level Pakistani diplomat has been rejected as Ambassador of Saudi Arabia because his name, Akbar Zib, equates to “Biggest Dick” in Arabic. Saudi officials, apparently overwhelmed by the idea of the name, put their foot down and gave the idea of his being posted there, the kibosh.
Friday is [...]

Hey, Mr. Canadian Premier, Where Do You Go For Heart Surgery? USA, USA!

From the case files of “Socialized medicine is great, why, exactly?”
Newfoundland and Labrador Premier Danny Williams is set to undergo heart surgery this week in the United States.
CBC News confirmed Monday that Williams, 60, left the province earlier in the day and will have surgery later in the week.
The premier’s office provided few details, beyond [...]

Now Cold Weather Is Changing Bird Patterns

Out: changing bird patterns because of global warming. In: changing bird patterns because it is frickin’ cold!
The prolonged cold weather could hit the number of small birds such as the robin recorded this weekend as part of the RSPB’s annual garden survey.
But more unusual visitors, including redwings and tree sparrows, are likely to [...]

Maryland Polar Bear Plunge Cancelled Due To Cold. Wait, What?

Heh
ANNAPOLIS, Md. – It was too cold even for some polar bears on Saturday.
The second of two scheduled dips in the water at the 14th annual Polar Bear Plunge in Annapolis, Md. was canceled on doctors’ orders.
The air temperature was 23 degrees and the Chesapeake Bay was 36 degrees when crowds [...]

You Know Obama’s Recession Is Bad When Sex Workers Have To Cut Prices

OK, this article is about the recession in Canada, but, since it is a world wide recession, and Obama is blaming Bush for the recession, and making it all America’s fault, and he is the ONLY ONE who can fix it, will Obama help these folks out with a few patronizing words?
Drag queen “Ray” was [...]

If Nancy Pelosi Claps Like A Seal, Do A Shot During The SOTU

Putting to be the notion that not all liberals are dower and unfunny, the Huffington Post has a State Of The Union primer on who to drink during snoozefest, which includes

Nancy Pelosi claps like a seal drink one shot
Nancy Pelosi becomes a seal     STOP DRINKING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

There are some other goodies, there, [...]

It’s A Blowout!

An evening palate cleanser

Good Job, Dumbasses!

Dumbasses #1
Denver Public School officials are apologizing after a parent complained that a school lunch meant to honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was stereotypical and offensive, reported KMGH-TV.
The lunch, planned for Friday, was to include southern-style chicken, collard greens and a biscuit in honor of King.
Look, I’m not a big person for PC, and, [...]

Bacon Can Boost Baby Intelligence. Is There Nothing It Can’t Do?

Can we branch bacon off into its own food group?
The traditional English breakfast is not normally associated with good health.
But scientists have found that eating a plate of bacon and eggs could help pregnant women boost the intelligence of their unborn child.
But the new study suggests that a chemical in pork products and eggs can [...]

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