(Washington Post) “Twilight: Breaking Dawn” has elicited shrieks of joy from Twihards, yawns from some film critics and groans from unwilling partners dragged to the vampire love story.

But the film’s gory birth scene, which contains rapid flashes of black and red light, has apparently also caused two men to have seizures. (Snip)

And thus the greatest excuse to not take your significant other to a “Twilight” film was born.

It was a good, if sometimes slow, movie, that said “yeah, about that previous Planet Of The Apes movie with Mark Wahlberg in 2001? Never happened.” You definitely get your monies worth at a length of 2 hours. It ends up being a fun summer movie without any preachiness, something a lot of people were wondering if would be part of the film. You slowly more forward as you watch the apes and other primates become smarter, then some furious action during the last 20-30 minutes.

The human characters were somewhat blah, but, at least their dialogue wasn’t annoyingly overdone.

I’m not making it sound very appealing, am I. It’s less than you think, but, it’s just another good summer flick to sit back and relax to. Check it out!

There have been lots of criticisms over the movie. For my part, let’s say this: it is not a super deep movie. There isn’t super duper dialogue (though, no stupid or bad dialogue.) It doesn’t make you think. There’s no deep interplay between or development of characters. It’s not a masterpiece. It is a standard boilerplate western movie, except, with, you know, aliens as the bad guys. But, here’s what it is, according to Tom Long from Detroit News:

It’s just big silly fun, the kind you’re supposed to have at a summer movie with a ridiculous title.

Bingo! It was a damned fun movie, which I thoroughly enjoyed watching. No pretensions in this movie, you go, you have your popcorn (btw, still great popcorn at the Carmike Theater I go to here in Raleigh), you sit back, and just enjoy a fun movie. No deep meanings, just fun. Oh, and the costumes and sets were very well done, fit the period. People’s clothes and hair were messed up (I hate when characters come out of a big fight and their clothes and hair are perfect.) The scenery was well chosen.

So, based on the fun factor, I’ll give it a B for an afternoon matinee. B- for a night showing. (Rotten Tomatoes has 62% of the audience approving.)

I’ll give it a C and a “wait for the DVD”.

Looks like a bunch of people at Rotten Tomatoes disagree with me. Oh, well.

The focus on the development of Charles, Magneto, Beast, and Mystique were wonderful. The attention to detail in a time set in the early 60′s was excellent, though some women may have an issue with the treatment of women as sex objects, like in Mad Men. A Hugh Jackman cameo was hilarious. The storyline was well done. Kevin Bacon as the Bad Guy was a nice point. He wasn’t overboard, just a guy trying to literally change the whole world with a nuclear war.

Some of the secondary characters, such as Emma Frost, were a little underdone, mostly as extras (and for cleavage). Can’t have everything. Though, we did get to meet Alex Summers, ie, Havoc, the father of Scott Summers, known as Cyclops.

Overall, where else is the X-Men franchise going to go? The Final Stand killed off Professor X, Jean Gray, Cyclops, turned Mystique into a non-mutant, saw Rogue, one of the other most interesting characters take The Cure (and, she was so young to start with, that they were never able to develop the character.) Kitty Pride? Works well in the comics, maybe not so well on the big screen. Same with Gambit. They’ve done Wolverine’s origins, who else is there? What else is there? They can probably get another movie prequel, maybe two, out of it. Storm? I can’t see a full movie. Nor Jean Grey. So, this is mostly it.

Giving it an A. Well worth the monetary expenditure for a nighttime showing.

And, it has a great ending, which raps the whole thing up.

Then, there’s Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. I was pretty psyched up to see this movie. Love the serious, especially The Curse Of The Black Pearl. I’ll even ignore some of the stupid stuff in 2 and 3. You know, I remember seeing the movie previews and commercials for COTBP, and thinking “sheesh, if they are showing this much, there must not be much else to the movie.” Boy, was I wrong! Big time! Love that movie (not, the blog is not base on it, though, I have snaked stuff from the movie posters). Alas, when it comes to On Stranger Tides, if you’ve seen the previews, you’ve pretty much seen the movie.

Perhaps it will grow on me when it comes out on DVD: Avatar did. But, I doubt it. It just kinda plodded along. No real memorable lines. No really memorable action. No great sword fights (the only real attempt was done in a very dark room, so, kinda worthless, and was actually besides the point.) Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa looked rather silly in the British uniform. Kevin McNally, the only other character (other than Jack Sparrow, of course) to return (as Mr. Gibbs), was not used well. No great sea lore speeches. The Blackbeard character was rather tame. Penelope Cruz’ character, Angelica, was rather tepid. The supporting characters were likewise dull. No Pintel and Rigetti, nor the two British navy men that engaged Sparrow in conversation early in Black Pearl. Excuse, looking at the cast, it seems that Lt. Gillette was in 4 as well. No good lines, either. Nothing like “that must be the best pirate I’ve ever seen.”

Some of the scenery was fantastic. At other times, it was too dark. Then there was the whole part about the Fountain Of Youth, which is supposed to be in Florida, as shown by the map in Pirates 3. Personally, I didn’t realize that Florida had so many damned mountains and stuff a couple hundred years ago. How ’bout you?

Is it worth seeing? Maybe if you go during the super deals hours. Otherwise, sorry to say, wait for DVD. Give it a C minus.

Was there a lot of dialogue? Nope. Was the dialogue super awesome? Nope. Was the story line super deep? Nope. But, it was a simple story about an alien invasion of Earth, with dialogue that was brief and made sense in the moment. There was no speechifying, ala Independence Day. Just stuff everyday people, and everyday Marines, would utter.

As for the story line, it goes something like this: Aaron Eckhart plays a 20 year marine who has just turned in his retirement papers, due to stand down after his current crop of Marine trainees are through basic. When the aliens invade, he is tasked to a platoon. They are supposed to simply go into a zone in Santa Monica and search for civilians before…well, see the movie to find out. They fight battles, and work hard to save the civilians. The Marines are treated with respect by the film makers. No silly liberal ‘gung ho” lines, no stupid heroics, and they even mostly act like Marines. They move like Marines, shoot like Marines who know how to use a gun, and have tactics like Marines.

If you do not like shaky cam, stay away. It is done well, though. And this movie is about a small group of people, one platoon and the civilians they encounter, not the aliens. Interpersonal drama on what is a heavy battlefield.

One funny exchange which might have been lost in all the gun play was when Michelle Rodriquez’s character shot an alien and she gets splatter in the face. She says “I got that stuff all over my mouth!” to which another character retorts “you let him do that to you on the first date?”

The ending is most satisfying, and could lead to a sequel. Or not. Either way, everyone, including myself, left the theater quite satisfied.

And Roger Ebert hated it, so, it must be good.

The force is strong with this couple.

Two computer programmers who claim to not be crazy Star Wars fanatics built a home theater modeled after Darth Vader’s destroyer vessel in The Empire Strikes Back.

Kim Howett, 41, and her husband, Jim, 43, said they have loved Star Wars since the first movie came out in 1977. They began designing their home around the Star Wars themed theater in 2006, which was completed last year. And they never seem to get tired of watching a video in the theater — which they call a “subtle reference” to their favorite movie series.

Make sure you check the link for the full details and picture goodness.

And, yes, my living room does have many beach style things, such as window covers with palm trees and a fake parrot hanging from the ceiling in the corner. Hey, I grew up at the beach.

Yet, almost a month later, the Washington Post decides to drop an editorial on the movie. Props for them destroying it, boo’s for being a month late

WE’RE NOT in the habit of writing movie reviews. But the recently released film “Fair Game” – which covers a poisonous Washington controversy during the war in Iraq – deserves some editorial page comment, if only because of what its promoters are saying about it. The protagonists portrayed in the movie, former diplomat Joseph C. Wilson IV and former spy Valerie Plame, claim that it tells the true story of their battle with the Bush administration over Iraqi weapons of mass destruction and Ms. Plame’s exposure as a CIA agent. “It’s accurate,” Ms. Plame told The Post. Said Mr. Wilson: “For people who have short memories or don’t read, this is the only way they will remember that period.”

We certainly hope that is not the case. In fact, “Fair Game,” based on books by Mr. Wilson and his wife, is full of distortions – not to mention outright inventions. To start with the most sensational: The movie portrays Ms. Plame as having cultivated a group of Iraqi scientists and arranged for them to leave the country, and it suggests that once her cover was blown, the operation was aborted and the scientists were abandoned. This is simply false. In reality, as The Post’s Walter Pincus and Richard Leiby reported, Ms. Plame did not work directly on the program, and it was not shut down because of her identification.

It goes on for several more paragraphs, destroying this bit of left wing paranoia and fantasy, which means, of course, that many on the left have gone bat guano crazy. Grasping Reality (and missing) thinks there should be resignations and protests. Balloon Juice, NO QUARTER, TBogg, and Wonk Room provide more Da Cwazy.

Pajamas Media provides some sanity. Personally, I’d rather watch the left go ape. More fun.

The special effects were great, but, as Rotten Tomatoes puts it

A middling sci-fi entry, Skyline offers proof that solid special effects alone cannot overcome a flat storyline filled with uninspired dialogue.

You never really get emotionally involved, or a sense of what the aliens want. Kinda strange coming from a person who really loves Cloverfield, but, then, Cloverfield wasn’t about the monster and its spawn, but, solely about the people involved and how they respond. Skyline never made that move. It’s more like Independence Day, without the explanation as to what the aliens want. I mean, you kinda get a sense, finally, what they want to take (trying not to give spoilers), but not a why. In fact, many people are making comparisons to those two movies, and not in a good way.

While the dialogue isn’t bad, it is just missing that extra little bit that gives a sense of interpersonal relations. And yelling at someone to “Run!!!!” while they are on the top of a 16 or so story building? Um. No. Facepalm.

Also, it seems to end abruptly, without a feeling that there would be a part two, or even what would end up happening. It’s almost like they cut the last 10-15 minutes out by accident, and sent it to the theaters.

Did I like it? I guess so. I didn’t walk out feeling I wasted my money, but, I’ll give it a C. Too bad, I really like Eric Balfour in Haven, my favorite TV show (which won’t be back till sometime late next summer, as SyFy likes to do, dagnabit!). Considering the budget was $10 million, it’s not utterly bad. Perhaps those involved could have taken out some of the effects and given more to the script writers. Funniest part, it’s still kicking the crap out of the idiotic “Fair Game,” which has made a whopping $1.9 million, to Skylines $11.9 million. Granted, Skyline is in more theaters, but, that should tell you something about left wing fantasy movies like Fair Game.

Only after seeing the movie, then looking at the tagline, “Don’t Look Up,” will you understand why it is called skyline.

Wait for the DVD.