Oh, Noes: “Climate Change Thaws Out 400 Year Old Plants”

We’re doomed!!!!!!

(Grist) As glaciers melt and slowly recede from the land they once covered, we don’t really know what we’re going to find there. Scientists have already found plants that have been chilling out under glaciers for about four centuries — plants that, now that they’re out from under the ice, have decided to start growing again.

These plants are of a specific type, called bryophytes. Plants like this (moss is one example) don’t have vascular tissue to shuttle water and nutrients around, which means they deal better with harsh Arctic winters. When a team of scientists from the University of Alberta was poking around the receding Teardrop Glacier, they happened upon a patches of bryophytes sneaking out from under the ice — “these huge populations coming out from underneath the glacier that seemed to have a greenish tint,” the lead researcher, Catherine La Farge, told the BBC.

Obviously, this means dooooooooom! So much doom that Sarah Laskow, the Grist article writer, offers up

We’re kind of nervous about what else might be under there. Santa Claus? Frozen aliens that will end civilization as we know it? (That would probably be better for the planet as a whole.)

Yeah, another Warmist with fantasies of killing off the human population.

But, consider, switching to the original BBC article

Plants that were frozen during the “Little Ice Age” centuries ago have been observed sprouting new growth, scientists say.

That is exposing land that has not seen light of day since the so-called Little Ice Age, a widespread climatic cooling that ran roughly from AD 1550 to AD 1850.

But the retreating ice at Sverdrup Pass, where the Teardrop Glacier is located, is uncovering an array of life, including cyanobacteria and green terrestrial algae. Many of the species spotted there are entirely new to science.

How’d they get there in the first place? How’d they grow in the first place? Magic? Alas, poor Warmists, they grew when the climate was warmer, pre-LIA, and then were covered during the LIA, meaning, I’m sorry to tell you, that there are natural climate variance periods, just like the current one we are in.

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3 Comments

Comment by john
2013-05-30 12:27:53

It is like when Otzi teh Iceman who was covered in ice for 3300 years was exposed for the first time when his ice covering melted away for the first time in 3300 years.

 
Comment by Balls_of_Frozen_Plants Subscribed to comments via email
2013-05-30 20:44:02

Yes john. Exactly like that. Ice melts the exact same way. Ice forms when it gets hot, and it melts when it gets cold. Every child in pre-K learns that through intense 6-day boot camp at Dr Bill Nye University and Day Care.

Hey Teach, you do realize that science didn’t start until 1949. Right? Nothing can be proven to exist before that point. Therefore, all this is new to science and is therefore wholly, completely, consensusly, statistically modeled scary.

 
Comment by William Teach
2013-05-31 10:51:46

So, John, what you’re saying is that it must have been much warmer 3300 years ago

 

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