Let's start with the Liberal version of the First Amendment
Congress shall make no law establishing religion, but shall act as if it did; and shall make no laws abridging the freedom of speech, unless such speech can be construed as "commercial speech," "irresponsible speechv," "offensive speech," or "Christian speech;" or shall abridge the right of the people to peaceably assemble where and when permitted, unless involved in protesting choice, high taxes, and social programs; or shall abridge the right to petition the government for a redress of grievances, under proper procedures, as long as none are against the right to choice, stopping global warming, and displaying Christian emblems.
The Second
A well-regulated military force shall be maintained under control of the President with whining from the Democratic Congress where appropriate, and no political entity within the United States shall maintain a military force beyond Presidential control. The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall be determined by the Congress and the States and the Cities and the Counties and the Towns (and someone named Nancy.)
Three and four next Friday
Get funky!
I might be dating myself posting that vid 
Woops, didn’t mean to post this till Friday night.
Nah; I love that song. Great dancing music. That and his “Wild Thing”.
Woops! Didn’t mean to post that Thursday night!
Must be the pirate beer.